Tuesday, September 4, 2012

Twofer Twosday: Kaley Cuoco's Big Boob Theory

Can you believe there are only 16 Twosdays left in 2012 after today?  The Sawx are taking laps in the shitter and the Pats are primed to start their annual AFC nutstomp through the fall (if they only had feet big enough to handle those fahkin' G-men).  We have two months to see if Obie will smash an empty chair over Dumbass Joe's empty melon.  The coeds are back in school, which means traffic slowdowns on Comm Ave as the Boston suits spend their lunch hours rubbernecking until the tight tanks and flip flops are put away for the winter.  Labor Day is in the books and the AC is off until next year.

While most things come and many things go when calendar pages are turned, there are a few things that are constant whether your fridge calendar has landscapes or Rockwell paintings or wet tshirts and pepperonis.  No matter the month, bacon is always in season, TMFB is always God and every week has a TWOSDAY!!!

We are going in a slightly different direction this Twosday.  Weekly, we have showcased ladies whose front yards cast their own shadows.  At times, we have given you boobage that could eclipse the friggin moon, fahchrissake.  This week we are going all scientific on your perverted asses.  I have postulated my own hypothesis, a theorem if you will.  Hey, I'm like the Pythagarus of the Pontoons.  Today I offer the Shitzngiggilum Theorem:  B's and C's can top D's if they show up in the right place wearing the right things.  In other words, it is not always the size of the sweater or the depth of the cleavage, but rather the timing of the appearance. 

This week's cover girl proves this theory in a big banging kinda way.  Kaley Cuoco, best known as Penny on Big Bang Theory, has had my attention since the first time she showed up in a belly shirt and pajama pants.  Sure, she isn't making much shade with her girls, but she fo sho knows how to make them the center of attention.  Of course, walking into a room of douche bag physics geeks wearing Green Hornet costumes makes it easy to notice her.  But then again, this proves my theory, right?

Lots of room here for a motorboat, wouldn't ya say?

As you can see in the picture below....  um, what was I saying?  Oh that's right.  My theory.  Pull them up in just the right bra and walk into a room full of scientists and you might as well be Jennifer fahkin' Tilly!!!

I'd be knocking like a fukkin' maniac too if I knew THIS was on the other side of the door.  I'd be there every friggin night.... Penny.  Penny.  Penny.    Penny.  Penny.  Can you please open the door so I can see if your air conditioner is working or if you are happy to see me?

Above, Kaley certainly passes the Commando in a Tank test.  And below, she is just plain wrecking that zipper and playing games with her button fly Daisy Dukes that is bound to make more pants tents than a boy scout jamboree.

Gotta go now kiddos.  First day back to work after a week and a half of doing nuffin!!!   See you at the top of the hump!

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