Monday, March 2, 2009
WHAT??? 15 fukkin inches of snow??? It's March!!! I just started seeing my grass again, pulled the Christmas wreath down from the front of the house and opened my shed to give my bike a big welcome back hug. And this morning a friggin' blizzard is dumping piles of white hell all over my world. Am I sounding a bit agitated??? Well, perhaps that is because I am more stressed out than a one armed man with an itchy ass hanging from a branch. Now THAT'S some serious anxiety right there. But now to what is currently occupying space in my otherwise empty head... the Pats!!!
In Bill We Trust... that is the the long standing motto of Patriot nation. It has been since 2001 when Billy Boy started making all the right decisions. From sticking with Brady over mud footed Drew Bledsoe to cutting the sleeves on his grey hoody to dumping his wife for this little prize, Grumpy Bill has continued to make all the right calls. So, when he and the Pats shipped Matt Cassell and Mike Vrabel off to Kansas City this weekend for a ham sandwich and an autographed picture of George Brett, we should have no reason to doubt him. This has got to turn out to be a good deal, right? I mean, they did free up nearly $24 million in salary cap room. Here's hoping they use that money to bring in, say someone like Julius Peppers or Ray Lewis. Shit, Belichick is so worshiped around these parts that he could use the money to coax Manny Ramirez off the left coast, teach him how to play football and Manny would become a hard working athlete that will not stop hustling until the final whistle. I mean it... WWBD people... WWBD?
So, here I sit amid the sounds of the town plows tearing up and down my street, pondering the world that is New England sports. The Celtics lost yesterday because they could not hit a shot as the clock ticked down in the 4th quarter. Yet, they pick up perennial malcontent superstar in his own mind Stephan Marbury and the fans give him a standing freakin' O!!! The Bruins have cooled off just a little since the all star break, but they are still one of the top teams in the league. The Sox are playing a boys game down in Florida this month, with perhaps the best starting pitching in baseball, except for maybe the Spankees. Francona has his glasses on and spring is on its way. And the Pats will have their quarterback back. Yeah, I know Cassel did his job, but Brady is Brady (PS...to all you national sportswriters that love to read my stuff, Ben Rawfishburger is NOT up there with Brady yet). And don't give me that shit about how being married to a smoking hot supermodel might affect his brilliance on the field. Here's the deal there.... Tommy Boy will now simply operate out of the no-huddle two-minute offense all season just to get home quicker and motorboat those hooters till the sun comes up. YAHOOO... must be good to be TFB (Tommy Fahkin Brady).