Friday, October 2, 2009

Oh No... Not Isolation!!!

October has arrivedthis must be so because my nipples just about burst through my pjs this morning. I woke up much like every Friday morning, looking forward to a quick day at work and then a football game tonight, with a few happy hour beers sandwiched in between. And what could make a day feel even better than spending a few moments ranting and raving on my favorite topic…

Before you read any further, you should know that I have had a change of heart… Made clear to me this week was that President Obama really is a tough guy in the area of foreign policy. Why, just this week, he puffed up his chest and threatened that big scary Iran to simmer down with their nuke program or else they would have to face “increased pressure and isolation.” Whoa!!! Back dah fukk up for a minute! Not isolation!! NOT THAT!!!! The very thought has GOT to have President ImADidAJob shaking in his Bin Laden themed thong, right? Haa haa haa… I don’t fukkin think so. Wouldn’t you have loved to been among the hundreds of flies in his beard when Ahmanamadingdong heard that threat? I’m not positive, but I’m guessing it was not exactly the sounds of panic running through the room; more like the sounds of some big shot Iranians pissing in their khakis with laughter. Gimme a fahkin break man!!! And if isolation and pressure does not work, what will the next step be? Step on some cracks and break his mommy’s back? Take away his 7-11 or revoke his cabbie license? Hey, I will be the first to admit that further pressure could in fact work…as long as that pressure comes in the form of an American made warhead that can reduce that wasteland of a nation to a Rhode Island sized parking lot.

This is not the only hiccup for President Barack Hussein Obama this week. General Stanley McChrystal, the NATO commander in charge of the effort in Afghanistan has made a case that a troop surge in Afghanistan is badly needed to keep this middle-east nation from falling to the Taliban. (Personally, I would favor the exact opposite stance – bring our men and women home and leave that nation to its own peril.) In his typical, I gots little balls and cannot think on my own style, Obie wants a few weeks to think about it. Fine, maybe he wants to hear more from the General. But yesterday, the Democrats in the Senate voted on a motion that will keep General McChrystal from testifying before them until AFTER the President decides what to do. Yeah, why bother listening to the guy who is actually over there fighting the fukkin war? That makes good fukkin sense!! But that’s all okay because we have a feel good story coming from the White House too.

Yesterday, in Denmark, the Obamas returned to what they do best… and America’s first couple has brought Community Organization to a whole new level. Obviously Michelle Obama is proud of the United States this week as she and her hubby have hopped over to Copenhagen, along with Oprah, to beg the Olympic committee to award the 2016 Olympics to the city of Chicago. Yeah, that would be cool – having the entire world descend upon Chicago for two weeks, in the middle of the summer, during an election year. Talk about a windfall for Acorn – can you just imagine how many new voters they can round up with the entire world hanging out in their backyard? And Oprah’s role? Bet your life that the world’s second largest ego (sorry, but Bono has her beat by a fukkin mile) will somehow turn the famous Olympic rings into 5 capital O’s, in honor of her magazine covers. By the way, I saw some video of Oprah strolling around the streets of the Danish city. Holy total eclipse, Batman! Two laps around her waistline and you have your marathon course!!

And since I have wound my way on to shitting on Hollywood, I might as well toss that nutjob Whoopi Goldberg under the 4X4 mudtires as well. Roman Polanski, that perverted child raping fugitive from justice, finally fukked up and got himself cuffed in Switzerland… (who says Switzerland is only good for cheese, army knives and hot blondes?). And as a result, we are treated once again to the despicable lows to which Hollywood celebrities will stoop in order to look like empty headed buffoons. A small group of these assholes actually have signed a petition speaking out against the arrest and the extradition and demanding his release. (
STORY HERE) The ridiculous reasons they cite include: “it was a long time ago” or “he’s old” or “he has already served his time by being in exile.” Well, if those reasons were not bad enough, that mopheadded, sunglass wearing blowhard Goldberg actually had the balls (and yes, I am pretty sure she’s got a set down there) to say, and I quote, “I know it wasn't rape-rape. It was something else but I don't believe it was rape-rape. He went to jail and when they let him out he was like ‘You know what this guy's going to give me a hundred years in jail I'm not staying, so that's why he left.’” So drugging a 13 year old girl and having sex with her unconscious body is okay, because, like, it’s not like, you know, like, rape-rape. It’s just kinda like a little rape but living the high life in France and Poland is like, jail-jail. Here’s hoping someone takes a big shit-shit on Whoopi’s face-face to wake her the fuck up-up!!!!

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