Monday, November 16, 2009

What Do You Mean There Is No Fifth Down?

Pats fans.... get off the ledge! Yeah, it was a crazy decision and our boys basically gift wrapped that winning touchdown for PFM and his Indianapolis Dolts. Yeah, the reddened hand print is still clear as day on my right thigh; an early morning reminder of the anger that had boiled over as Kevin Faulk fell a half yahd shoht of the first down mahkah. Note to self: open hand slap on bare leg hurts like all git out! Whether or not Faulk really got that first down does not matter... what matters is that the Pats wasted a perfect opportunity to end the undefeated hopes of that country bumpkin quarterback and to protect their own record streak of 21 consecutive regular season victories. What matters is that we now have to listen to the "experts" like Trent Dillweed and Chris Callhimworthless talk about how Belichick has lost his mojo! Wonder if Joey Porter will have time to chime in on this game since he had no words after his ass beating last week.

I gotta tell you, I hated the decision and really hated the result. BUT - had Laurence Maroney held onto the football like a fat kid holds a cupcake, the home town boys would have been up by three scores and the decision making of a 3 time Super Bowl winning coach would not be in question this morning. And had Brady not thrown the pick in the endzone in the second quarter ending another impressive drive, the game would have been a Tennessee Titan-like blowout. Had they converted and got the first down with 2 minutes to play, all of us would be yammering on about how what separates Belichick from the rest... that he has the balls to do things that no other coach would do. That being said, I am not gonna defend the call... has to be the worst decision since someone thought Fish would be a successful spinoff of Barney Miller. Punt the freakin' ball away please!

But back to the rest of the game - alot more good than bad. So buck up younguns.... the future looks great! Sebastian Vollmer made Dwight Freeney's spin move look like the hokey pokey all night! Freeney never laid a fingernail on Tommy Boy. The freakishly big German had an All Pro like game last night and was by far the best offensive lineman on the field. Matty Whiff Light had better start studying the right side playbook... cuz it seems Nick Kaczur may need a little time off for bad behavior after playing Ole with Robert Mathis all night.

Don't even need to talk about BTM and BTW - their shit always comes up roses (Brady to Moss and Brady to Welker, fyi). My main man Kevin Faulk You I Got the First Down did his thing to perfection (well, except running that last pass route along the invisible yellow line - should have gone a yahd deepah, Kevin). The defense forced the Colts to punt 6 times in the first half alone!!! They hadn't punted 6 times in a freakin GAME. Plus, the secondary played a hell of a game causing those vaunted rookie Colt receivers to play like their hands were coated in cement. But whatevah.... And perhaps the best part of the night... The Colts and their piped in crowd noise did nothing to rattle the Pats. ZERO false starts and ZERO offsides penalties. So they can take that cheesy tactic and stuff it up Irsay's ass!

Other notes from the game: Does Jim Caldwell EVER make a facial expression? I swear the Colts coach was wearing a freakin' mask or something. How bout a little smile... or a little frown... or some sign of life?..... Loved the Rodney Harrison-Tony Dungy interactions! But didn't a small part of you picture Rodney diving across the table to take out Dungy and hurt his knee in the process?.... Colts cheerleaders! nuff said!.....
So, fellow Pats fans... relax today! Except for the final score and losing any chance at home field advantage against the Colts, the rest of the night was a positive! The Dolts had allowed an average of 13 points/game until Brady, Moss & Welker, LLC torched their sorry asses. Give me the Colts on any field and next time, we win the game going away! That is, unless Belichick opts to play with blindfolds and ankle ties.

It's November 16th, 62 degrees and sunny in New England. The Pats are 6-3 and 2 games up in their own division. The red mark on my leg still stings but I am smiling because Rex Ryan brings his big mouth and his 4-5 Jets to Foxboro next Sunday for a reintroduction to reality. Ryan can send out all the former Patriots he wants to the coin toss - I say Belichick sends out a couple of cheerleaders carrying a tray of whoopie pies.

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