Wednesday, December 9, 2009

This Far From Being In Playing Shape!

The passage of time and the inevitable “getting older” has finally caught up to me and delivered one hell of a dick punch! That pain in the ass little voice in my head started yapping at me last week… get off the couch! Put down the beer! Fahcrissake, Tivo Big Bang Theory and do something healthy. Word to the wise (and to the dumbasses as well) – you can’t just show up at a basketball court after three years of ball scratching and deck sitting and expect to walk out an hour later feeling like a million bucks. I don’t care what they say – there is no way that me running up and down an 84 foot court for 20 minutes is healthy. But off I went last night to the local Rec center to play ball with the best players on the north side of 35 that Hudson has to offer; a crop of guys still holding onto their 1988 Air Jordans and donning the latest in neoprene wraps and protective braces. After 5 minutes of action, there was more wheezing than a nursing home musical chairs tournament. And that doesn’t include the other guys. And one of these nitwits thought it would be a good idea to invite his 18 year old, faster than lightning son to play. Good news was that he was my teammate. The bad news is that he is obviously used to playing with other 18 year olds - fuck, by the time I could grab a rebound and look up, this shit was already down court looking for an outlet pass from me… hardy fahkin har… the joke was on Junior. It took all my energy to leap the 3 inches to get the rebound – to throw a full court pass immediately after was akin to asking Tiger to take a week off from sex… wasn’t gonna happen. And there was the play where I hauled ass down the floor to keep up with him… I got ahead and he fed me a perfect bounce pass for the lefty layup. Of course, had I still owned an 18 year old pair of hands, I would have caught the fahkin pass.

So thanks to that little voice telling me to do something healthy, I nearly killed myself. But I guess it will keep me busy on Tuesday nights until Sons of Anarchy starts up again next season.

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