Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Campaigning for Dummies

If you are sitting in your cozy little Democrat recliner, wondering how on earth a REPUBLICAN stands a good chance of winning a seat in the US Senate to represent Massachusetts, you need to open your eyes and look at the list of Oopsies and Aw Shits that have riddled the Coakley campaign since October. These are things NOT TO DO when running for office.

The Great Foreign Policy Experience issue: In October, Coakley was asked about her lack of foreign policy experience. All she could come up with is that her sister lived in England and now lives in the Middle East. (youtube it - you'll find it) She said she often hears from her sister overseas about the Bush policies. Holy Christ!!! Hope she has her sister on speed dial before any foreign policy vote comes up in the Senate.

Sure Wish I Lived In Ohio - It's Easier to Spell: Ayep, it has long since been corrected, but some clown actually ran one of those negative Scott Brown ads and misspelled Massachusetts. A campaign tip - make sure anyone working for you has a semblance of working brain cells.

I Called My Sister, She Said They Are All Gone: On January 11th, Coakley announced to the world that the terrorists are gone from Afghanistan. You sure did hear that correctly. As her President is sending more troops into Afghanistan to fight the "real war on terror", Obie's new favorite Bay Stater is telling us all that they have all left. Perhaps Obie should enlist the intelligence expertise of Martha's sister so he too knows exactly what is going on. Also, pay close attention to what Coakley says about the Taliban at 0.08 of the video: "...because we believed that the Taliban was giving harbor to terrorists." Hellooooooo - the Taliban ARE the terrorists, you empty headed animal fruit drop whopper.

I See Nothing, I Know Nothing: So, one of Coakley's aides was photographed while pushing over a reporter who had the nerve to ask her a question about where she thought the terrorists have gone after leaving Afghanistan. Coakley first came off sounding like a paranoid nutjob when she accused "Scott Brown Stalkers" of harassing her wherever she goes. Um, Martha, those would be reporters. But the kicker was when she claimed she was not privy to what had happened in the pushing incident and did not even see what happened. However, photographs show her standing there watching it happen. Don't lie to us - it pisses us off!

Where Am I? What Have You Done With My Notes?: It certainly could not help when our President showed up in Boston on Sunday and, while introducing John Kerry, he had a brain cramp and momentarily forgot what fukkin state he was in.

Marsha Marsha Marsha: And finally, we have Patrick Kennedy, of the great and royal Kennedys. Just up off his recliner apparently because someone woke him up to tell him that a Republican might take a seat in the Senate. So off he goes to stump for Martha Coakley, except that he called her Marsha. Not once, but seven freakin times!!

But the one sure fire way to lose in Massachusetts - show that you know DICK about sports. Coakley recently brushed off Curt Schilling as "another Yankee fan." When the interviewer expressed surprise, she stammered, "Oh, am I wrong about that?" That, my friends and enemies, could very well be the death knoll to this doomed campaign.

One thing is for sure.... after tonight, no more freakin' ads! And I can watch 24 in peace on Monday nights.

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