Thursday, April 29, 2010
Hank Johnson is a Democrat representative from Georgia. Last week, during a hearing with the House Armed Services Committee, Admiral Robert Willard was discussing a proposal that would station 8,000 servicemembers and their families on the island of Guam, a U.S. territory in the Pacific. This fukkin brainiac congressman took the microphone and voiced his concern that overpopulation of this small island could .... ARE YOU READY???.....WAIT FOR IT..................... cause it to "tip over and capsize." Oh I am not fukkin shittin' you! Apparently, Mr. Johnson operates under the belief that islands are just floating around out there all willy nilly like ducks in a pond. I am sure you are thinking that he had a brain fart and could not come up with the right word. OH NO FUKKIN WAY--- he even made a tipping over motion with both hands. Here ya go.... VIDEO PROOF: (listen at the beginning... he thinks that Guam is a canoe!)
I love the Admiral's response: "We don't anticipate that." LOL So let's look at this for a moment. Here we have an elected official who, as a member of the United States Congress, has a role in crafting budgets and voting on foreign policy, yet has no fukkin' idea that islands are, um, ATTACHED to the sea floor. I am not sure, but the chance of Guam capsizing is highly unlikely. Who should be more embarassed? The esteemed gentleman from Georgia or the dumbass voters who put him there? Can you imagine that when the call goes out to "contact your Representatives" you have to call this moron's office? Bettin' his telephone is an empty soup can with a string.
MEMO TO HANK JOHNSON before you embarass yourself once again: The world is ROUND. There is no edge from which to fall into the dark universe... just wanted you to know - Columbus proved that a few years ago.
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
Monday, April 19, 2010
Saturday, April 17, 2010
Friday, April 9, 2010
By the way, dimwit, reelection SHOULD be a reward for a good first term! Isn’t that the whole fucking point? Do a good job and you get to keep it. To say it is about “finishing what you started” is to say “I know I promised a ton of bullycaca 4 years ago and did not get anything accomplished, but if you give me another 4 years, I really really promise this time.” Oh my gawd it can be painful with you sometimes!
Thursday, April 8, 2010
Three games are plenty for me. Get Mikey Lowell in the lineup and sit down Big Popup. I do not give a donkey's dick about the RBI last night - he made the third out in THREE FUCKING INNINGS! Twice with wild flailing swings at curve balls in the dirt. His body language looks like he is tossing a freakin' keg. And he can spew all the tirades he wants at the media - he's been in Boston long enough to know better. Either get back on the juice or go back home and open up a cigar rolling plant.
Closers - Papelsmear cannot go two innings yet. That freakin' bomb he gave up to Granderson has yet to land. And Maryann "I Helped Noah Build The Ark" Rivera just does not get old. Although I still think he represents our best chance to win late inning games.
We all know that stats are out of control. But ESPN is reaching deep when they report that the Yankees set the record last night with 17 straight wins in games that are tied after 7 innings. HUH? I wonder who holds the record for wins in Tuesday games in east coast cities with more than 15,000 in attendance. Give me a fucking break, please!!!
And one last thing. I'm gonna say it - I have to say it - I FUCKING HATE THE "YANKEES SUCK" CHANT!! Nobody hates the pinstripes with more passion than this opinionated, obnoxious wannabe writer. But can we please do away with this embarassing tradition? I have harbored this distaste ever since the 2001 Super Bowl parade in Boston when Larry Izzo (now a member of the NYJ) felt the need to lead the crowd in the silly chant. I hear it when the Sox are playing the Rays in Tampa and I would not be surprised if it was spouted at a baptism in South Boston. Yeah, the dickhead Yankee fans tortured us for years with 1918 and that got old. So has this. Now, if we changed it to AROD SUCKS, that would be new and fresh!
Monday, April 5, 2010
Sunday, April 4, 2010
The big changes for the Sox this year reflect a whole new attitude from the top on down. Apparently so impressed with the success of the Bruins and their one goal/game strategy this season, Theo has thrown offense into the shitter. Gone is Jason Bay. In his place, we get Mike Cameron out of the nursing home and Hermy Jemidah sumthin. WTF??? Sox are obviously trying to save money on baseballs, unhappy with long homeruns over the Pike. Guess they need that money to pay for fuckin' veggie dogs.
No worries on the defensive side of the ball, folks. With Beltre and Scooter O taking their spots on the left side, joining Dusty and Youk, getting a ball past the infield will be tougher than sneaking a Ring Ding past Kirstie Alley. On the outfield lawn, Jacoby moves to left field this year. Francona expects to take advantage of Ellsbury's speed and ability to run UP the Green Monstah to take away the Wall Doubles. Cameron is going to play center, although I have no fahkin' idea why he would be a bettah choice than Ellz. That mutha fukka had better get to the triangle as fast or heads are gonna roll. JD Drew will be taking his bat off his shoulder long enough to spend some time by Pesky's Pole. He drives me freakin' nuts with the backwards K's (STRUCK OUT LOOKING for those of you who don't pencil in the scorebooks at home) but the dude can play some defense.
Finally, what everyone is talking about is the pitching. The rotation is shaping up to be one filthy group of slingers. JMFB, Lester and New Guy go 1-2-3. Any one of those fukkers could start game 1 of any playoff series. And it looks like Douche-K has taken the American spring training seriously - as long as his back holds up better than a Toyota, he should return to his old form - refusing to throw a fukkin strike no matter what the count. Wake and the Ugly Duckling are fighting it out for the fifth spot... I'm pulling for the old guy with the beer belly cuz that Bucholz is tough to look at.
Let the games begin... Go Sox.
Friday, April 2, 2010
Thursday, April 1, 2010
But then Obie shocked us all with a surprise visit to the troops in Afghanistan. I have been waiting for this for 14 fucking months. Finally, he throws on a military flight jacket and shows a glimmer of support for the men and women in harms way. Gotta give him a big ol' bro hug for that move. Our country needs these kinds of leadership moves from him.
Today, it will be hip waders and a FEMA jacket, standing alongside Governor Patrick, assessing the flood damage in Massachusetts. And now he is going to be okaying the drilling for oil off the coast of Virginia??? I gotta tell you, B. Hussein Obama is really starting to climb up the ladder in my eyes.