Monday, April 5, 2010

Screw 'Em. This Is Your Time. Go Out And Take It.

Game on... the pre-game was frikkin awesome. Petey Martinez tossing the first pitch was good enough, but wikkid pissah goosebumps when he hugged Johnny Pesky. Sometimes those moments just ooze of phonyness, but this Dominican bear hug was a genuine show of affection. And how about that little shit 5 year old reciting Herb Brooks Miracle speech? "Screw 'em! This is your time." Not sure if that will fire up the New Yorkahs, but it was pretty cool.

Yanks were up first and the greatest player to ever play the game grounded to Scooter O on the first pitch.. the 2010 season has begun. JMFB looks good and the first 3 outs were over quicker than you can say....Holy shit and shinola!!... See See Safatass just showed up on the television... I don't think Matsui signed elsewhere - it appears See See ate him. Well.... that was one fast first inning. I cannot do this all game.

Aw fuck... Pussyada just about knocked over that pole. 1-0 Assholes. But that's okay... we have great defense. A one run lead is nothing...easy to overcome....WHOA!!!! What the fahk Beckett? Granderson hammers one deep to right center! Serving up Easter eggs is no way to start the season. Jeezus... get out of this inning you prick. 4 straight hits and now two on for ARod's boyfriend. Come on pretty boy... help a bruthah out... atta boy... back to ScooterO and we escape further damage.

It only took two innings to shelve the "defense is more important" strategy. Time for a new plan... like "score more runs than the other guys." Gonna need more than good defense to score a few runs off Rerun.

YOUUUUUUUK! Atta boy. Nice lead off double. Now let's just hope Big Popout does something with him. Side note: Looking from the centerfield camera with CC and Papi in the same frame - that's a tv screen full of baseball player right there. A weak freakin' grounder at least moved Youk over for Beltre's moon shot sac fly. One run at time baby. And then JD K Drew looks at strike three to end the inning - SHOCKING!!!

Top of the 4th... F'ing Beckett cannot find his curveball and dishes out singles all around. blah blah blah... a couple of more runs and now we got Gardner at third and Jeter at first. RemDawg just finished predicting a double steal and damned if that sumbitch isn't right again. Freakin' there goes Jeter and VMart makes the throw. Holy shit - Jeter hits the brakes and Scooter cannot make the tag and fahkin Gardner belly slides across the plate - JUST LIKE REMY SAID. Dammit all - 5-1!! There is no way we are coming back from 4 runs down.

Bottom of the inning and Pedroia leads off with a hard grounder to Teshera (I'm tired of trying to spell his name right, so I'm going with how it sounds). Run you little fucker, RUN. YEAH... a head first dive into first nearly gets the little guy trampled by CC Snuffleupagus covering first. He's OUT???? OUT??? YOU ARE FAHKIN KIDDING ME!!! Okay, the replay showed he was out. But Pedroia popped up looking ready to give the ump a true blue donkey punch in the berries. heeheeheee. But alas, another 1-2-fahkin-3 inning. DAMMIT.

5th inning ... Was that KD Drew swinging his bat with two outs? Sure enough was. But what good is a single? We need more than that. Okay - another single, this time by new guy Cameron. Hmmmm... two straight hits off Chubbo... could this be? Oh yeah... SCOOOOOOOOOTER O singles to left. Here comes Drew and the throw from Brett Gardner lands in the freakin mens room. Note this now... the Yanks found a left fielder with a worse arm than Damon. And now the top of the order is up.... Ellz will do something.... IF HE TAKES THE FAHKING BAT OFF HIS SHOULDER!!! Struck out looking???? 5-2 and we let the Spanks off the hook.

Fast forward to the 6th. Base on balls to Pedroia. Okay, lead off runner is on. BAM! VMart rips a double to left giving Youk two Sox in scoring position. Come on you bald sumbitch - do something here. YES, a line drive to right shoots past Nicky Swishy who looks like he has never seen a ball hit at him before. To the wall and Youk is on third. WOOOOOT - just like that the Sox are down one. Big Papi goes quietly and it's the showers for Sabathia. Here is the other new guy. Beltre singles to center and WE ARE TIED!!! Oh yea - order the rings now baby. It's Easter Sunday and the Sox have risen.

Okay, now time for the best bullpen in baseball to wait a minute. Walk, double, single... STOP!! Well, that tie score didn't last long. The fuckin Yankees are never dead. Send the ring order back. The Sox suck.

7th inning - I should probably just go to bed. I cannot take this. What's this? Scooter singles. Some life? OH YEAH! PETEY GOES DEEP and just like that, the ring order is back on and the Sox have tied it up baby! Dusty for MVP. Okay Youk, do what you do.... A DOUBLE!!! Youk for MVP! And now Marte and Posada play a game of fetch. Youk to third on a wild pitch. And the next pitch gets past Pussada and the SOX TAKE THE LEAD!!! YANKEES SUCK YANKEES SUCK

Yanks go down quickly in the top of the 8th and now I am wide awake. Just one more insurance run baby. Pedroia is up with Marco and Cameron on base and Joba Chambermaid on the hill. BAM... another RBI for the little guy and to the 9th we go with a 2 run lead. Cue the Dropkick Murphy's - it's Papelboner Time. No problem here and game 1 is in the books. I knew it all along.

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