Wednesday, May 26, 2010

Mr. Presidente... Vamanos Asshole!

In yet another sign the apocalypse is upon us, the President of Mexico came to the United States last week and spoke in front of Congress. This fucking dickhead had the balls to show up in OUR country and criticize our laws around immigration - and did so to the delight and applause of the Democrats! There are varying opinions out there about the new law in Arizona. And the beauty of our country is that we can debate our laws amongst ourselves. But since when does a leader of another country have not only the right, but the open invitation, to criticize our policies while a guest in our country? And the fucking left side of the aisle responded with loud applause. Can you imagine if President Obama were to visit France and tell them that they need to reconsider some of their laws? Do you think the French would applaud?  Stand up and give him that freakin' odd double cheek kiss?  Um... NOPE.  But last week in Congress is just another example of the lefties apologizing for the way we do things in our own country.  It's a disturbing trend.

President Calderon thinks it unjust that police are allowed to demand proof of citizenship in Arizona.
"It is a law that not only ignores a reality that cannot be erased by decree but also introduces a terrible idea using racial profiling as a basis for law enforcement." he said to cheers from the Democrat side of the house.

Meanwhile, Article 67 of Mexican's Immigration Law requires that all authorities, federal, local or municipal, demand to see visas if approached by foreigners. And illegal immigrants in Mexico face imprisonment of up to 10 years.... it goes on... google Mexican immigration policies and see for yourself.

So Mr. Mexican Asshole, stick your fucking nose up your own ass and get the hell out of here, please.

OH and real quick...  Memorial Day is this weekend.  Our President has decided to visit Chicago instead of sticking around Washington to place a wreath on the tomb of the unknown soldier, a Presidential tradition on this day of remembrance for fallen heroes.  Having been knocked around for dissing the military such as he has, shouldn't Obie's advisors be suggesting he handle the wreath laying duties?  It's okay... he is going back to Chicago because of a promise he made during his campaign to visit his hometown once every 6 weeks.  Every 6 weeks????    What the fuck?  Where are all the bitchers who whined about W spending too much time in Texas?  Hauntingly quiet!!   His girls are Presidential tradtion be damned - but not to worry everyone... B. Hussein Obama will be back in DC by next week, in time to honor Paul McCartney!

It's Simple Alphabet Rules: C's ain't B's

We’ve been here before… just a few weeks ago, as a mattah of fact. Hey Sully, the Broons are up 3-0 baby! Yeah...LOOOOOOOCH is AWESOME!  The Flyers are fahkin’ toast and they can finally shave their fahkin faces!!! Stanley Cup finals here we come. What’s that? We lost game 4 in OT? No fahkin problem… nobody chokes on a 3-0 series lead except Maryann Rivera and his 2004 Spankees. Fahkin WRONG!!! 4 games and a super Philly cheese steak kick in the berries later and our Broons were washing golf balls while the Flyers were exposing the Canadiens for the great northern frauds they were.

Now here are my Celtics… fresh off a lesson in TEAM basketball for LeBron “King This” James, the boys in green commenced to kicking the Disney shit out of SuperDouche and his Orlando Magic. Wham… bam… Dwight Howard sucks… thank you Maam and the C’s quickly went up 3-0. The Magic are D O N E done! Yeah, I know the similarities are there… blah blah blah… lose game 4 in overtime… yada yada yada. NO, not this time!! You see, the Celtics are not going all Bruins on our asses. We have the better coach (sorry, Stan Van Panic, but you are a joke!) and we have the best player in the playoffs in Rajon Rondo… I don’t want to hear about Howard’s astronomical shooting percentage. I have never seen a more overrated player than the dunk machine. The ESPN talking heads made a huge deal about Superman’s shooting percentage against Atlanta (84%)… give me a fuckin’ break – if all your shots are dunks, you are bound to inflate your percentage. Get that big ass more than 5 feet from the basket and he cannot find the fucking rim! Seriously, he is just a big strong mo-fo who can rebound and block shots… but don’t come anywhere near calling him one of the best players in the game. Until he can score anything except layups and dunks, keep him off that list. Gimme Rondo, Pierce, Allen, Garnett and the rest of the team any day… Please put it to rest tonight boys so we can finally get on with forgetting about those fukkin Broons!!!

PS… put the BEAT LA shirts away people… them thar Los Suns have tied it up and Steve Nash seems to get better with every broken bone and open wound. The perfect matchup in the finals would be Boston vs. Phoenix! Wonder what the Boston City Council will do regarding their boycott of anything Arizona then!

Friday, May 7, 2010

A Crying Red White and Blue Shame!!

On May 5th...  (for the purpose of this rant, I refuse to call it Cinco de fukkin Mayo), 5 high school students in Morgan Hill, CA were sent home from school for "incendiary" behavior.  Whoop dee fukkin doo, right?  Kids misbehave in school all over the country.  In this particular incident, however, these nasty little brats actually snuck past the Bobby Brady hall monitors and metal detectors while wearing....GASP.... shirts with American flags on them.  ON NO....   have they not been paying attention to our President or the first lady?  Don't they know they have no right to be proud to be Americans?  Thankfully, a vigilant assistant principal (by the name of, ahem, Miquel Rodriquez) was on the job.  Because of his quick thinking, these 5 hoodlums were called into the office and sent home faster than they could say "I pledge allegience."   Hmmmm.... in the southwest, it is okay to sneak into the country illegally, but you better not wear the stars and stripes or you will find your ass in trouble.

I'm calling bullshit on this!!!  I don't give a flying burrito if May 5th is a day to celebrate Mexican heritage.  Much like St. Patrick's Day and Thanksgiving, I'm fully support the celebration of one's ethnic roots, especially if it involves raising a glass or two.  I am happy to say buenos dias and raise a tequilla with my Mexican amigos.  Of course these kids were using May 5th and their American flag tshirts to make a statement about their OWN heritage.  I am sure they are sick and tired of walking around their community unable to read public signs because they are written in some other language.  A young female student was quoted as saying "Cinco de Mayo is the only day Mexican-American students can show their national pride."  HAAA... so is she saying that if she showed up on Seis de Mayo wearing the Mexican flag, she would be sent home???  EL FAT CHANCEO!  The principal claimed he did not want these shirts to instigate any fighting.  FUCK THAT!!  If an American flag tshirt causes some students to get pissed off, then SEND THOSE FUCKING PISSED OFF ANTI-AMERICAN STUDENTS HOME!!!  

I leave you with this:
'In the first place, we should insist that if the immigrant who comes here in good faith becomes an American and assimilates himself to us, he shall be treated on an exact equality with everyone else, for it is an outrage to discriminate against any such man because of creed, or birthplace, or origin. But this is predicated upon the person's becoming in every facet an American, and nothing but an American...There can be no divided allegiance here. Any man who says he is an American, but something else also, isn't an American at all. We have room for but one flag, the American flag... We have room for but one language here, and that is the English language.. And we have room for but one sole loyalty and that is a loyalty to the American people.'    Theodore Roosevelt 1907

Tuesday, May 4, 2010

Mayor Bloomberg, You Owe Me a Quarter, Asshole!

"If I had to guess 25 cents, this would be exactly that. Homegrown, or maybe a mentally deranged person, or somebody with a political agenda that doesn't like the health care bill or something. It could be anything." 

So said Michael Bloomberg, alleged mayor of NYC, Monday night to Katie Couric about the failed car bomb attempt in Times Square.  Sure, Mr. Mayor... someone is pissed about health care and they decide to build a bomb and blow up New York City.  Are you sure it wasn't George W.?   Of course, Ms. Couric most undoubtedly felt a quiver in her nether-region at the implication that it might be some conservative Tea Partier behind the Nissan Firecracker.  Bloomberg was not the only one to take a page from Billy Clinton's drivel from a few weeks ago...  some asshat named Robert Dreyfus wrote the following:  "It seems far more likely to me that the perpetrator of the bungled Times Square bomb plot was either a lone nut job or a member of some squirrely branch of the Tea Party, anti-government far right."  On his Obama is My God website, Dreyfus claims to be an "investigative journalist from Alexandria, VA specializing in politics and national security."  Good investigation, you dumb prick!!  First, the Obamanites out there tried painting the Tea Party protesters as bad spellers... and when that didn't work, they hauled out the homophobic and racist accusations.  And now the Tea Party supporters are CAR BOMBERS?????    WHAT THE FUCK?!!   Give it up shitheads!

In more of the same typical bullshit, liberals everywhere jumped on the bandwagon like a National Guard truck full of water.  The national media and other lefties were not only hoping,  BUT PRAYING that the Times Square terrorist was an angry American.  You could almost hear the fukkin weeping when the arrest of one Faisal Shahzad was announced.  WHAT????   An Islamic terrorist?  SHOCKING!  Noooo.... this was supposed to be the end of the Tea Party!  What went wrong?   I'll tell you what went wrong:  Shahzad has connections to the Taliban and has now become the most recognizable Pakistani in NYC since Babu was deported after Kramer and Jerry lost his visa renewal form. 

Well, Mr. Mayor, once you get that big fukkin left foot out of your piehole, you might want to get on the horn and try to find Mr. Shahzad a good attorney in NYC.  He gonna need it.

Oh... and for a moment can we talk about this bomber?  I know nothing about car bombs except the kind you get at Halligan Tavern made with Baileys and Jameson... but it seems to me that this guy made himself a regular Car Bomb Stew...   get a little bit of every ingredient you ever read about and stuff it in a truck and light it on fire.  Don't get me wrong... I am sure this was one dangerous mutha fukkah... but there is something a bit curious about children's alarm clock duct taped to some propane canisters and fireworks and sitting on a pile of shit in the back of a Pathfinder.  One thing for sure... I'm betting the Toyota people are sure happy it was not a 4Runner in the story.  They have had enough bad publicity already.