Thursday, July 29, 2010

Owens Storms Into Cincy... Takes Over For Venus Flytrap

Ocho Uno plus Ocho Cinco equals a whole lotta TV time and not much more.  The ESPN blowhards are talking about more than just AFraud's stall at 599 this week.  Apparently the addition of Terrell Owens across the formation from Chad Johnson (yeah, his last name is still Johnson, I don't care what he claims) has made the Cincinnati Bengals the most popular ticket in town since the Who.  They base that on what?  That Uno did so well in the cold weather up there in Buffalo?  That he led the Cowboys to exactly ZERO playoff wins?   Or that the reality show circuit needs an exciting ending?  Hey Ohio...  here is the straight dope on your new supahstah...  Sir Dropsalot can't catch for shit.  He has hands of stone and a mouth that runs faster than Chris Johnson.  He is gonna bitch out loud when Cinco gets more balls than him.  He will blame that all on Carson Palmer and that Palmer likes Cinco better.  He's gonna have post game press conferences even if he is not invited.  Uno will blame his defense, his tight end, his coach and Donovan McNabb for everything that goes wrong.  Even WITH Cinco, the Bengals were ranked #27 in the NFL last year in passing.  Better get more than a washed up dickhead with a penchant for Looky Me touchdown dances.  Shit, Icky fuckin Woods could come out of retirement and they would have a better chance. 

Good luck Cincy fans...  I'll be tuned in and I am guessing that is really all the NFL wants anyway.

No comments:

Post a Comment