Friday, August 27, 2010

The Return of the Tight End - YOWZA

Brades looked under a rock and found a tight end.  And a big fahkin Polish dude with a bad rookie haircut and a size 16 shoe to boot.  Last night, I sat down to watch the only preseason game of the year worth watching... exhibition #3 is always the only game when the starters spend any time playing football.  Next week, the Pats will be trotting out a lineup of unknowns that make this year's Sox look like the '47 Yankees.

First, the bad news... the stuff that makes me get all "Aw fahk!!!  You sahk!!!" -  I ain't too optimistic this morning about the value of this defense.  The defensive backs cannot cover a penny with a bedspread and the D-line looks like they have spent all training camp at the fukkin food court.  Seriously, we have the manbeast in the middle (Vince BigFork) and then who?  Last night, there was plenty of Gerard Warren and Ron Brace... AND I MEAN PLENTY OF THEM!!  These two buffett killers make Vince the smallest defensive lineman in the 3-4. 

I get pissed with all the rules protecting the quarterbacks these days and there were several roughing the baby penalties last night.  But Marques "Pack Your Bags" Murrell was flagged last night as the Rams were stalling in their game winning drive.  Immediately I started bitching like PMS in a traffic jam about these bullshit calls.  Then a replay showed this dick deliberately lower his head and deliver a shot to the QB's grill.  I'm surprised Billy B didn't rip that dude off the field and send him on his way right then.  Too many penalties last night kept drives alive... and the really fukkin dumb ones.  Darius Butler reached across the line of scrimmage and made contact with a wide receiver before the freakin' snap!  WTF???   Automatic first down... Rams continue to march down the field and score another six on a weak looking defense. 

And if the Pats can only gain a measly 28 yards against the St. Louis Fuckin Rams, then I am worried.  But no Fred Taylor or Baloney Maroney last night - so not a major concern, I guess.

And now for the good news... although the first half sucked eggs, Long haired Tommy laid up a perfect ball to a streaking Mossman on their second play of the third quarter for a long score.  Twas a clinic in throwing, running and catching.  Welker looks to be the same maniac he was all of last year and Brandon Tate is going to provide some serious football wood for the die hard Pats fans. 

But the big story from last night, carried over from Atlanta last week, is the 6'6" Pole wearing #87 and turning heads this preseason.  Over the past few years, the tight end position for the Pats has been as useful as a Coke hawker in the bleachers at Fenway - IGNORED.  But something is going to be different this year.  Rob Gronkowski looks to be the real fukkin deal with great hands, good speed and some serious, drag a linebacker 5 yards with your foot strength.  He scored twice last night and both were highlight worthy.  Treating James Laurenitis like a piece of toilet paper stuck to his heel, Gronk just hopped 6 yards with the linebacker in tow as he scored near the end of the first half.  And the second score was a show of hands and probably gave Brady his own football boner when Gronk used his 6'6" frame to pull a laser out of the air over a linebacker and in front of the safety.  Who gives a shit about the really bad haircut... this guy is gonna be GOOD!   The Tight End Has Returned - and he wears Ben Coates number.   WOOOOOO

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