Thursday, September 9, 2010

Brady Accident Causes Spike in New Underwear Sales

WHOA!!!   I nearly cuh-cuh'd in my skivvies when I heard the news.  Tommy Boy was just about beheaded in a major motor vehicle crash this morning in the Back Bay.  From early reports, it appears Brady was leaving his home in the city for a leisurely cruise to Foxboro for another day's work of slinging balls and slappin' ass with Wes and Randy, when ALL OF A SUDDEN, a red mini-van from hell with fire shooting out of the exhaust and a giant razor sharp blade on the grill came hauling ass into the intersection and nearly deleted our star quarterback from fantasy rosters all over the internet.  After rescue personnel sewed his head back on and performed life-saving CMVPR (that's cardio MVP resuscitation, fahkers!), Tommy Boy got up and ran to Foxboro, barefooted.  Then the real story slowly came out...  Brady was simply inconvenienced by the wreck this morning.  No injuries.  No nothing.  Well, I guess a passenger in the van had to be extricated and transported to a hospital, but I don't think that guy was going to play on Sunday anyway.  Bottom line is that TB is fine and at practice this afternoon, getting ready to shut the pie holes of those twinkies in Bengal stripes this Sunday. 

Rest easy Pats fans... the Holy One will be under center this week.  This was most likely just a ploy to give Billy B a reason to put Brady on the injury report as questionable with a "back injury" for the rest of the season. 

There are two things that jumped out at me with this story and that are more newsworthy than the itty bitty fendah bendah!  First, why the hell is Brady driving a car?  I thought he just pulled on a cape and flew his supah hero ass to the stadium!!   Second, what the fahk is with the Jersey plates on the Audi, Mr. New Contract Man?  Something you are not telling us?  A negotiating ploy, perhaps?  Tune into WEEI today and I am betting you will hear more Pats fans troubled over the Gahden State plates than the actual car accident. 

Whew... now that THAT undie soiling event has passed, I can get on to real stuff - like googling recipes on corn dogs.

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