Wednesday, September 15, 2010


The Patriots made a surprise move yesterday in trading 6 year player Laurence Maroney to Denver.  It was not the trade that was a surprise.  It was the fact that Maroney was actually still in New England.  "Am I surprised?  Hell yes I'm suprised!" admitted a Patriot player under the condition of anonymity.  "Honestly, the last time I saw Larry, he was tippy toeing around behind Matty Light in November of 2009.  I had heard rumors that he was playing for the Steelers this year so I was as surprised as anyone when a trade was announced."

Dance no more... Boney Maroney was shipped off to the Denvah Dumpin Grounds yesterday, along with a 6th round draft pick and a bottle of headache pills in exchange for a pair of those fahkin awesome throwback socks the Broncos wore last year and a bag of kicking tees.  This brings to an end the Maroney Era in New England and all that goes with it (endzone fumbles, cha cha dance steps off tackle and some fantastic hair).   Seriously, what the fuk took so long to ship the Wreck of Ol' 39 out of town?  This guy gives tits on a bull a run for its money in the useless department. 

The Big Back That Couldn't joins former teammates No Hands Graham, Long Snapper Paxton and Russ Hochstein in Denver with that wizard Josh Daniels.  Here's hoping Tim TeBlow and Maroney enjoy each other's company on that bench.

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