Tuesday, October 5, 2010

Tired Tuesday... Everybody Wang Chung Tonight

It only took 103 yahds and a blur known as Brandon Holy Fuck Tate to make us Pats fans forget a first half that sucked Dolphin balls.  The Pats spent the entire first half tackling grass and helping Ricky The Blunt Williams look like the powerhouse back Ditka drafted in N'awlens a hundred years ago.  And Chad Henne lit up the young and shitty secondary for two quarters.  Thank god Rob Ninkovich wore his pink gloves and picked Henne twice or the halftime score could have been a lot worse.

And then everybody wang Chung tonight.  The defensive back who bears no visible likeness to Connie Chung or Eugene Chung and looks as much like a Chung as I do a Suarez.  Blocked a punt, blocked a field goal and went all pick six on Henne's ass in the fourth quarter for the final nail.  And Woody proved to everyone that the #39 jersey aint for dancers afterall.  He ran like a fukkin maniac through the line of big dudes and ALWAYS got positive yardage (see Maroney note below) for a 4.2 YPFC.  The Mossman only made one appearance during the game when he dropped a ball in the endzone on the fake spike play.  For the first time in his Patriot career, 81 does not show up in the receiving box score.  But that's okay.. I saw him smiling on the sidelines and celebrating BJGE's score in the third quarter. 

But there are some things that are going to keep bandwagon in the slow lane, if you will.  The interceptions aside, the defense still blows!  They gave up 400 fukkin yards to the Fins.  It's a good thing Henne had a hard time figuring out which uniform to throw to.  And why the hell is Wilfork lining up on the left?  Billy boy, you are making it easy for the offense to decide which way to run.  Gun 27 Laser blast Check Silver AWAY FROM THE FAT GUY on hut!  Put him back in the middle where he can eat up two gaps and force the offense to be honest.  And I'm still not convinced we can go the whole season with BJGE and Little Woody as our feature backs.  Come on Oakland... keep losing.  We need Ingram.

Elsewhere in my football world:

Boney Maroney is dancing again.  This guy is freakin' ridiculous and makes me realize that the little white dude wearing his jersey is much more fun to watch.  Maroney's line on Sunday read 11 carries for 5 fukkin yards.  That's less than a half a yard a carry!  The Bronco fans used to the likes of Terrel Davis, Mike Anderson, Clinton Portis, etc, must be losing their shit in the thin air.  And in typical Maroney fashion, he fumbled the ball in the pile when just trying to run out the clock. 

The Colts forgot to bring their defense to Jacksonville on Sunday.  Finger lickin' Manning did his thing again with a two minute drive to tie the game... fukkin Manning!  But then the legendary David Garrard did enough of his own magic and led the Jags to the 42 yard line where Josh Scobee made a 59 yard field goal look like an extra point.  Jags win, Peyton drops his head, Kenny boy is very happy.

All the freakin' hubbub about Michael Vick will slow down for a week.  Listen people, I get it that the guy is electrifying and a proven winner.  But the reason that a running wild quarterback is a bad idea was evident on Sunday when Vick was the meat in a Redskin sandwich at the goal line on a play that got called back anyway.  But Vick was hurtin' and off to the locker room he went.  Enter Kevin Kolb and an Eagle loss.

My other team dropped their first game of the year.  The Stillers endured their 4 games without the brain injured rapist and came out of it with a 3-1 record.  But they had this game in hand until Joe Flacco decided to throw a pass on target with 37 seconds left to take the win away from Pittsburgh.  Their defense is the reason for the impressive start.  Add Roethlisberger to the mix and, well, the defense will still be what carries this team.

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