Friday, October 15, 2010

University of Missipussi Rebel Black Bears

The University of Mississippi has revealed its new mascot.  It is a cute and gaw dam harmless black bear, officially the Rebel Black Bear.  Pussies!  Their new mascot should be a fahkin jellyfish to represent the lack of spine and intestinal fortitude of the university administration.  If you haven't been following this and if you could give a bag of balls about Ole Miss and their mascot woes, here's the Cliff Notes:  Ole Miss Rebels have had a mascot for many years.  His name was Colonel Reb.  He looked like a cross between Colonel Sanders and Grandpa Walton.  The image of Colonel Reb has been loudly criticized as being racist in nature, a representation of a southern plantation owner conjuring up images of slavery, and was removed from the football sidelines in 2003.  It took seven years of arguing, petitions and polls to come up with the new mascot. 

So what did the dingbats in Mississippi come up with?  A black bear!  Oh, the nickname is still the Rebels.  So the mascot will be called the Rebel Black Bear.  GMAFB!!!  That would be like the Patriots having a fuckin' bulldog for their mascot or the Cowboys having a leprechaun.  If they wanted to go all pussy on their students and rid the school of the mascot, they should have dropped the nickname too.  And not just "Rebels."  Ole Miss is a nickname for a slave owner's wife.  All or nothing, dummies. 

The other finalists in the mascot lottery were the Rebel Land Sharks (fukkin stoopid) and Hotty Toddy (who the hell knows what that is?).  So this begs the question.... what exactly is a Rebel Black Bear?  It is a bear that refuses to shit in the woods?  Or does he represent the black bear militia devoted to overthrowing the oppressive grizzly regime? 

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