Tuesday, November 19, 2013

Patsies Recap: What? Not Even A Courtesy Reach-Around?

First things first... that was a great fahkin' game down there in the land of fast drivin' and slo walkin'...  the Patsies came out on the short end of a long stick, losing to Figgy Newton and the suddenly stout Panthahs.  Unfortunately, the chattah will be about the last play with the officials picking laundry off the floor like a Vegas whore in a hurry to make her next date.  But before I drop a New England steamer on that nonsense, let's give credit where credit is due...

This was a classic tilt between two playoff contenders that went down to the final second.  TMFB and Hoodie are the perennial ass kickers while Carolina is looking at a winning record for the first time since the start of the Yoga Pants Era.  At this time last year, Maam Newton was being castigated by Steven Smith for being a whiny, pouty me-first little bitch not accustomed to losing.  He was 2-8 and spending more time under a towel than a camel jockey in a heat wave.  What a difference a year (and a little maturity) makes!  Dude is playing like a man again... and that makes the Panthahs a scary-ass team.  Add to that the beast that is Luke Kuechly (pronounced "I'm Gonna Tackle Your Ass") on the defensive side of the ball and this is a team I can like.  As long as they are not playing the Patsies.  Admittedly, tho, Cam has got to do more than win 7 games to change my opinion of him as a spoiled little bitch.  The true mark of a man is how he reacts when the going gets rough.  Right now, it's all wine and 40 ounces, so Superman is a happy dude.

This game was as even as it can get, right?  The Pats did have 8 more first downs and 86 more passing yards, but everything else was pretty even Steven.  The time of possession battle was a difference of a minute in favor of NE and the Pats had 107 rushing yards to the Panthers 103.  Finally a Monday night game worth its salt!!  Carolina looks to be in great shape for a playoff run and the Patsies welcome the Finger Licker next week in yet another critical prime time game.

Okay.. that's out of the way.  Let's get to the black and white striped elephant in the middle of the room, why don't we?  To be clear here, I am not bitching that the non-call cost the Patriots the game.  Carolina deserved to win... played well enough to win... and won.  Had the right call been made, Hoodie's boys still would have needed to score on an untimed down from the one yard line - no guarantee with Carolina's front 7!  HOWEVAH!!!...  if that was not pass interference on Kuechly or Robert Lester, then the rule means nothing.  Look at this picture and you can clearly see....


.....Oops, sorry about that.  I mean, look at THIS picture:


The first contact made with Gronk was Lester into the ribs AND Kuechly grabbing at his arms.  That contact happened about 3 yards into the endzone.  And while Kuechly continued to wrap up Gronk and ride him to the backline of the endzone, Lester peeled off and picked off the pass.  The flag was thrown and then inexplicably waved off... GAME OVER!  The reason given by the officials was that the pass was uncatchable.  FUCK THAT SHIT!  Sure, the pass was picked off about three yards into the endzone and at that time, Gronk was probably 4 or so yards away.  The reason the pass was uncatchable was BECAUSE OF THE INTERFERENCE!!!  The rule states that contact with a receiver would not be pass interference "if the ball is clearly uncatchable by the involved players."  Um, pretty sure one of the involved players caught the fukkin' ball!!!  How is it uncatchable?  For further clarification, check out NFL.com's rule page on Pass Interference.  They list 6 actions that constitute defensive pass interference.  Pretty sure ALL SIX happened.

Again...  great game.  Too bad the officials are making us talk about this instead of how great that game was.  And because of their incompetence, there is no bikini clad super-wife shakin' her ass for us in Rio.  Dicks!!!

Oh, wait a minute.  Another Boston team was in the Carolinas last night and kicked the CCMs out of the Hurricanes!  And nobody ever said victory dancing was reserved for football...    so here is your Win One Lose One Any Excuse Will Do Victory Dance!!!

Cue the ass-shakin' please....

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