Sunday, December 8, 2013

Beez Win. Thorty Goes Apeshit, Looks For Christmas Vacation

Holy shit!  I ain't about to justify the way he handled it.  And to his credit, Shawn Thornton is not making excuses himself and rather owning his stupidity.  So I will rationalize a little bit about what pushed Thorty over the cliff of decorum and into a place where we could never imagine seeing our beloved enforcer.   Anyone familiar with hockey and specifically the Beez, knows that Shawn Thornton has always been about the code.  He drops his gloves only within the parameters of the unwritten rules.  To even call him a goon would be an injustice, because the guy can skate and handle his stick well enough to have scored 10 goals in one season and is on pace to do the same this year.  So what the fuk happened that resulted in Thorty going all apeshit and pummel Brooks Orpik into fukkin' queer street after he took him down to the ice during a stoppage in play?

As seems to be the case these days, many teams take exception to the Bruins physical type of play.  They beat the fukkin' balls out of opposing teams by finishing their hits and putting heads on swivels for 60 minutes.  The Sabers and Canadians have even altered their gawdam rosters to try to match the Beez in toughness.  During last year's Eastern Conference Finals, the aforementioned Penguin bitches were transparent in their game plan to knock the senses out of the Beez rather than play hockey.  Youtube search Matt Cooke Brad Marchand Playoff Goal and you will see what I'm fahkin' talkin' about.

It was obvious last night that the Penz were out to send a message to the Broonz.  It started immediately when Orpik laid out Loui Eriksson and knocked him out of the game with a pretty nasty and borderline cheap shoulder to the head hit.  Eriksson was concussed and did not return.  Thorty took exception because, in his mind, Orpik violated the code.  Ya don't take runs on skill players.  If you wanna be a tough guy, take on the other tough guys.  Orpik is much like Thornton.  He is there to fight first, play hockey later.  Asshole has never scored more than 2 goals in a season.  So why would an "enforcer" be skating the first shift of the game?  Maybe Dan Bylsma could answer that question.  He seems to be a wise hockey sage anyhoo because he called the Orpik hit on Eriksson a "good hockey hit"... fuckface thinks a shoulder to the head is a good hit.  Either way, Thornton tried to handle it the "right way" when he came out and tried challenging Orpik to drop gloves.  But the pussy just turtled up, unwilling to back up his own actions against someone his equal.  Thorty ended up with a roughing penalty because of it.

Later in the period, when James Neal kneed a fallen Brad Marchand in the head in an obviously intentional douchebag move, that was it for Thornton.  He fukkin' snapped and saw a chance to get his whacks in on Orpik, who was challenging Gregory Campbell in the ensuing scrum of Neal's kneeing penalty.  Guess he had had enough of seeing Pittsburgh players targeting the heads of the Bruins.  So he took Orpik to the ice and cleaned his clock with two solid punches to the jaw.  Orpik went la la land and was stretchered off the ice.  Fukker should have just fought Thornton in the first place.  After the game, Thornton had this to say:

"I feel awful. It wasn't my intention," Thornton said. "I know Brooksy and have gotten to know him over the last seven years. I skated with him in the summer, through the lockout and texted him a couple of times. I feel awful. It's definitely not what I want anyone to see.... It's always my job, I guess, to defend my teammates. But I prided myself for a long time to stay within the lines. It's hard for me to talk about right now. I can't say 'I'm sorry' enough."
I got ya some gifs to check out in case you were watching Ohio State shit down their legs instead of the Bruins game.

Here is what Bylsma calls a good hockey hit.

Try telling me that Neal did not mean to do this.  He's an NHL skater
and can turn on a fukkin dime if he needed to.

Orpik ain't gonna escape this time.

Say what you will about the Bruins physical style of play... but for the most part, they play tough BUT CLEAN!  That is born out in the numbers where the Bruins have the seventh FEWEST minor penalties this year and ZERO game misconducts thus far.

The rivalry for sure is reaching a boiling point.  Three serious injuries last night (Chris Kelly had his ankle broken by a slash from Pascal Dupuis in the second period that was not called) and one coulda been.  Marchand is reportedly okay and will not miss any time.  No thanks to James Neal.

Bottom line here is that Thornton fukked up.  He went all douchey and sucker punched another player.  And he knows it.  And he feels badly for it.  Hey, how would he know Orpik had such a glass jaw?  To be sure, he will be suspended a shit ton of games.  I'm predicting more than 10 games.  The NHL cannot have that kind of vigilante justice.  Neal will also surely be suspended a few game checks for his prick move.

On the other hand, HOWZABOUT THAT ENDING!!!  Krejci and Big Zee came up with huge Sher-woods in their shorts with two goals in the final minute and 30 seconds to send the Penz home a loser once again.  Chara's goal came with just 13 seconds left in regulation and was a blistahd slappah from the middle of the face off circles and landed squarely on the dicks of the visitors.

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