|Obviously, this guy has no appreciation for the finer things in life...like Beyonce's ass! |
I would have made a prouder showing on behalf of bald dudes, buddy!
Have you any idea how many Christmas mornings you have destroyed? Jolly old elf, my ass! Kids all around the world wake up every year looking for that one special gift. Yet you only come through for the rich families with big chimneys. You run a gawdam sweat shop up there in your high and mighty castle. Those elves work 364 days a year, around the clock, and yet all you shell out for pay is some sugar plums and a bag of fukkin' gum drops! These guys need money, man! At least give them some dollar bills so they can spend their time off making it rain on midget strippers instead of dancing with a scarecrow on a yellow brick road.
|The Santa you never hear about....|
I've also seen you at the mall, terrorizing the boogers out of little kids all while you smile and give out a hearty Ho Ho Ho... mean prick! As far as all those times a kid has pissed on your lap, let there be no question that you deserved every fahkin' drop!!
|Evidence is in... he's a douche!|
By the way, why don't you ever drink the whole glass of milk? That's fukkin' rude!