Friday, May 9, 2014

Beez Recap: Matty Sportsgasm an Overtime Hero

Happy Paycheck Friday, ya assholes!!  Time for yours truly to make like a pair of old lady tits and head south.  Our annual pilgrimage to the Holy Mecca of $2 Beers, Bikes and Boobs begins this afternoon.... Grand Strand, here we fahkin' come!!!  But before I leave these offices empty for a week, I must talk about last night and Matt Thanks For The Sportsgasm Fraser!!!

After game 3, the media around this took turns washing Michel Therrien's balls because he fahkin' tweaked his 3rd and 4th lines, as if no coach in the Enn Aych Ell has ever tried such a, ahem, brilliant move.  Last night, it was Claude's turn to adjust his roster and skate off with a vicktwah.  Jordan "He Was Playing?" Caron was given the night off and Julien brought up some kid Matt Fraser from Providence for his playoff debut.  Fraser kicked the Canadiens square in the vagine at 1:20 of overtime and became an instant hero in Bostontown.  If the Beez go on to win this series, Fraser's game winnah will be looked at in Boston as the signature moment, much like Dave Roberts' steal off Maryann Rivera in 2004.

By many accounts, game 4 was boring.  Too much shit being bogged down between the blue lines and featured more icing than the face of a fat kid in a cake factory.  But I gotta tell you... I was not in the least bit bored.  What the Beez did was smother the speed of Montreal - pretty much what they have done all season.  And they finally hit again.  Not as much as they should, but much more than last game.  Iggy destroyed Max Paciofuckface in the first period with a clean hit against the glass and Big Zee was knocking Canadiens around like a bull in a china shop.  The third line was once again the best line for the Broonz with Sody, Loui and Fraser delivering high fukkin' energy and continuous possessions.  Tuukka and Price played even, so it all came down to who would get the break in OT.  And the hard work of that third line paid off heeyooge when Fraser just kept battlin' behind the net and found the puck.  BOOM, shut up Canadien fans!

On the neg side, Kraych and Marchy continue to completely suck balls.  These guys cannot get out of their own way, cannot keep the puck on the blade and cannot score in a women's prison.  These fukkers had better step up!!

I'll check back in after I get my tired motorcycle ridin' ass back from Myrtle Beach in a week to see how things went.  In the meantime, I owe you a victory dance...

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