Wednesday, May 7, 2014

Beez Recrap! Fukkin' Subban!

The global readership of this blog requires that I nut up and face the music when things are not going well.  Hey, fuk you - this page has gotten hits in Indonesia and Malaysia this week (which really just means that boobs is a universal language).  Anyhooz, it's easy to brag about wins and put up videos of dancing bears and pictures of diving assholes.  The trick to reputable journalism (oh, fuk you again) is to own the bad shit too.  So here I am this morning, still a proud passengah on the black and gold bandwagon, to talk about that gawdam kick in the nutz last night, courtesy of les sacs le douche in blu, blanc e rouge and PK Subbitch in puhticulah!

Let's start with Tuukka, whose teammates treated him like wet jeans... hung out to fahkin' dry!  The Thin Fin had no chance on any of those three goals, all of which were the result of defensive breakdowns by his sleepy eyed mates.  What the fuk was Kevan Miller doing hip to hip with Boychuk on that first goal, leaving the back side completely exposed.  While Miller fell over himself trying to get back into position, Iggy just could not sag fast enough, giving Plekanic a rise in his CCMs and a wide open net.  The PK goal out of the penalty box can be attributed to bad timing... but I say that one's on the defense as well as the bench for not recognizing the time left on the penalty and not having anyone back.  Great fukkin' move by Subban, btw, that douche!  The third goal was the worst one, IMO.  I had just finished saying to a buddy that the Beez are coming alive and carrying the play completely.  They possessed the puck for an eternity in the Montreal zone before Mezsaros and Boychuk decided to ignore the basket hanging pussy Dale Weise.  Just like that, another breakaway on Tuukka and it was three fukkin' nothing!!  

The Broons are a physical bunch of sumbitches.  Always have been.  It's what separates them from the rest.  They took a lot of shit for taking stupid penalties in game 2 and that must have been a teaching point for Claude.  Because they couldn't hit a fukkin' stepchild with a belt last night.  Jeezus, was Boychuk the only one willing to deal the pain?  They only had one penalty the entire gawdam game and that was a bullshit goalie interference call on the One Eyed Swede.  Listen fellas... ya gotta knock the fukkin' stink off them.  If they embellish, that's fine.  Kill the penalty.  But last night, you were playing like the Sedins.  And ya remember how THAT turned out for them.  (By the way, P.K., you came up with your elbow.  You meant to do it.  It was a cheap shot attempt that happily dinged up your teammate instead.  Take your penalty like the bitch that you are.)


While I am talking about the lack of penalties called (each team only had one call go against them), can I also talk about the horseshit non-calls that burned our asses?  Like when Montreal iced the puck twice in the first period but were not called for unknown reasons.  Or when Desharnais (pronounced DayYarNay and French for I'm A Quebecian Asshole Who Also Thinks Roy is pronounced WAH) leg whipped Marchy at center ice.

But the biggest bone of contention was when that big fukkin' Subbitch knocked the net off in the closing seconds and no delay of game was called.  The refs attributed it to an accident.  Right... the same guy who dangled and deeked Rask in the first period and who can spin on a dime to avoid a hit (cuz he's a pussy) "accidentally" skated into the post with nobody near him and we are supposed to believe that?  Sorry... should have at least been a penalty and perhaps, I'm reading, even a penalty shot.  But that would never be called in the Belle Center and I don't blame the refs one bit for that.  Those assholes in Keybeck are fukkin' nuts!  They will burn their mother's tits if they thought she impacted the Canadiens negatively.

Bottom line is this... if the Beez want to make it to the next round, they had better come out of the locker room for the first period from here on out.

ASIDE:  Just cuz this has been bugging me since the Detroit series.... Can we stop putting Krejci on the face-off dot?  Last night, he only won 4 of 14 faceoffs.  Just put Looch there for the rest of the series.  Dude has not lost a face-off in the three games (he has won all 5 that he has taken).  Give the beast a chance!

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