Tuesday, December 30, 2014

Doppio Martedi With Maria Grazia Cucinotta's Un Bela Seno!

Buongiorno, stronzos e testa di cazzos!  That's Eye Talian for good mornin'  assholes and dickheads!  Yeah, I know... tomorrow is Prince spaghetti day.  So why the Sicilian tongue on a Tuesday?  You'll see.

With New Year's Eve just a day away, the production staff and editorial board at Shitzengiggles has spent the last few days trying to figure out how to close out a year of amazing Ta Ta Tuesdays.  My first thought was to honor the 5 most viewed Twofer Twosdays of all time on SnG, but honestly, that would be lazy.  And I am not lazy... but since you are curious.....

......the 5 most popular racks, as tabulated by Brains and Personality Accounting, LLC, are not exactly who you would think....  Kate Upton, Salma Hayek and Jennifer Love Hewitt are nowhere near the top.  Would you believe Allison Brie (31,755 views), Melissa "Bernadette from Big Bang" Rauch (20,458), Sara Chalke (18,459), Catherine Bell (15,149) and Queen Cougar herself, Susan Sarandon (8,429) rounding out the top 5???   I shit you not, perverts and peepers.... Howzabout Sarandon checking if for the AARP at the ripe old age of 65???

So anyhoo... back to more pressing business... like Maria Grazia Cucinotta.  Sopranos fans might remember from the first season Tony's hallucination of that hot Italian exchange student frolickin' about in the neighbors yard and breast feeding Antonio, Jr..  Oh the bosomness of it all!  Fans of 007 may remember the cigar girl opposite Pierce Brosnan in The World Is Not Enough.  Yep... that was all Maria!!  And how do you solve a problem like Maria???  You Google her ass, that's how.

This gnocca and her che tettes appear mostly in Italian films. Which means today you are gettin' a fahkin' exclusive!!  Buongiorno, Maria!

I love it when she has trouble with her shoes.

Her big scene as Isabella from the Sopranos

I know Maria.  I can't help but look at them either,.

Doin' some heavy lifting right there.

I cannot understand a word she is saying.  But I'm not really sure I care.

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