Tuesday, June 30, 2015

Barry O Celebrates A Victory For Gay Marriage. But Why?

In 1996, Barack Obama was clearly for gay marriage.  He said so, quite definitively, in his responses to a questionnaire sent to him by Outlines, a gay newspaper in Chicago.  Click on the image below so you can read the blurry print.

Of course, he was being asked these questions by a gay publication.

In 1998, he answered the same questions on LGBT issues, strongly affirming his newly found undecidedness on the issue.

In 2004, when he was running for Senate, he told the same newspaper that while he supported civil unions, he was no longer a supporter of gay marriage, calling it a strategic issue.  The strategy he was referring to was that he felt civil unions would be more likely to get passed.  Ya see, his stance on gay marriage has nothing to do with actual rights; only with what side he thinks will win at any given moment in time.  The LGBT should be crucifying this lying spineless mutherfukker!!  In an 8 year span of interviews with Windy City Times, he covered every fukkin' base... For it/Against it/Undecided!  

In 2008, during a Presidential forum with John McCain, he told the moderator, Pastor Rick Warren of the huge Saddleback Church in Southern California, "I believe that marriage is the union between a man and a woman.  Now, for me as a Christian, it is also a sacred union.  God's in the mix."

Later in 2008, he told an MTV audience that "I believe marriage is between a man and a woman.  I am not in favor of gay marriage."

And finally (or is it?), in 2012 during an interview with Robin Roberts, openly gay news personality and cancer survivor, he told her that, BOOM, he was in favor of gay marriage again.  And then immediately looked for credit for having the temerity and courage to change his opinion in such a public way.

This week, he lit up the fukkin' White House like a bag of Skittles and his pole washers are calling this a victory for his administration.  Maybe they ought to do a little research.  Like his home city (no, not Kenya), he changes with the wind.

But hey, the Pope is coming to meet him next week.  Guess he'll be against gay marriage on that day.
Not to be outdone, Ol' Firepants herself is shouting victory with the Supreme Court decision, forgetting that YouTube can be quite the thorny little enema.  Bitch.  

Sunday, June 28, 2015

It's Not The Stars and Bars!! Study Up Son!!!

They are seizing the moment again...  cuz it's what they do.  A wallowed eyed psychopath shot and killed 9 black church goers in Charleston, SC two weeks ago.  The shooter is a racist mother fukker who apparently loved to pose with the Confederate Flag and put it on Instagram before starting his own race war.  When those images went viral after his arrest, that ignited anew the uproar over the Confederate Flag flying over government buildings in the South.  That butthole tightening has since spread to Amazon.com and eBay and Apple, who are now jumping on the anti-hate bandwagon because I guess someone just told them that the "Southern Cross" is a bad bad bad thing.  By the way, Amazon is still allowing the sale of items featuring the faces of mass murderers like Che Guevara and Vladimir Lenin, both of whom executed innocents as part of their own political crusades.

The people protesting that flag will tell you that the Confederate Flag has stood for hatred since the Civil War.  So I ask you this... why was it okay in 1992 when Slick Willie and Fat Albert supporters tried to woo the southern voters by putting the flag on campaign pins?  Why did NOBODY raise hell while the Dukes of Hazzard was the most popular show on television in the early 80's with Bo and Luke sporting the rebel flag atop their '69 Charger?  Why has it been perfectly fine for Amazon and Walmart to sell Lynyrd Skynyrd's Greatest Hits CD for years?  Why did nobody boycott Tom Petty's 1983 Long After Dark Tour, whose promo poster had a Petty portrait on a Confederate Flag background?

I have no allegiance to the Confederate Flag - I'm a fukkin' Yankee born in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania and raised in Lowell, Massachusetts so I really have no place speaking on the issue.  I do, however, understand the uneasy feelings around the history of that flag.  Regardless of how you interpret the history and meaning of the flag, be it a symbol of southern pride or a marker of hate, the truth is that supremacist hate groups have appropriated those colors as their own and those groups have won.  It was the flag waved by then Democrate Strom Thurmand in 1948 and by protesters of Brown vs. Board of Education in the 60s.  As much as many southerners want that flag to represent pride in their southern way of living, it doesn't.  Rather, it is seen by most as a symbol of hate and you can blame the KKK and the Thurmond-led Dixiecrats for that.

Much like the Navajo Indians can blame the Nazis for redefining their beloved symbol of healing.  You see, Hitler did not hire a graphic logo designer to develop his Nazi flag.  He stole the swastika from other cultures, some of whom have used the swastika as far back as 12,000 years ago.  Check out this picture of the 1908-1909 Native American basketball team.  And did you also know that, in the 1920's and 30's, the U.S. Army 45th Infantry Division featured a swastika on their shoulder sleeve insignia as a tribute to the Native Americans in the southwestern US?  But because of its association with the Nazis, that symbol now represents hate, much to the chagrin of Native Americans (and the Finnish Air Force).

With all that shit out of the way, let's at least let's get a little education about the flag that has us all yapping.  And stop calling it the Stars and Bars, fahchrissake!  The Stars and Bars was the name of the first flag of the Confederacy and bore a resemblance to the Betsy Ross flag of the United States with its ring of stars on a blue field and red and white stripes.  The blue cross on a red background was placed in the upper corner of a white field and it was called the "southern cross."  This became the official flag of the Confederacy.

THIS is the Stars and Bars
The second flag of the CSA

The Southern Cross is attached to slavery today because it became the flag under which the Confederacy fought during the Civil War, a war in which the future of slavery was a primary divisive issue.  The South wanted to keep their slaves while the North sought to end the slave trade.  But the flag at issue today was NEVER an official flag of the Confederate States of America.  The flag at the center of this debate was the battle flag of the Confederate Army.  Robert E. Lee is the most famous General to have fought under that flag when he led the Confederate Army of Northern Virginia (the Dukes named their car after General Lee) and thus he is most often associated with that flag.  Ulysses S. Grant led the Union forces under the orders of the Great Emancipator, Abraham Lincoln.  The Confederate Army soldiers fought for the preservation of southern society.  Yes, to keep slavery.  But also to keep from becoming industrialized and over built like their counterpart states to the north.

I got two quotes for you... let's play "Guess Who Said This."

Quote #1

"I will say, then, that I am not, nor ever have been, in favor of bringing about in any way the social and political equality of the white and black races; that I am not, nor ever have been, in favor of making voters or jurors of negroes, nor of qualifying them to hold office, nor to intermarry with white people; and I will say, in addition to this, that there is a physical difference between the white and black races which will forever forbid the two races living together on terms of social and political equality. And inasmuch as they cannot so live while they do remain together, there must be the position of superior and inferior. I am as much as any other man in favor of having the superior position assigned to the white race."

Quote #2

"There are few, I believe, in this enlightened age, who will not acknowledge that slavery as an institution is a moral and political evil."

The first quote was made by Abraham Lincoln, while quote #2 was uttered by General Robert E. Lee.  Yes, Lincoln did not believe that white people should own black people.  But he certainly had a superiority complex over the black man - we can't own 'em, but we are better than 'em.  Should we remove his face from the penny and fiver?  Of course not.  But it does make one wonder how legends become transformed over time.

Among us northerners, there is a certain fascination and romanticism for the south.  The fanciful drawl, the tasty food, the southern girl, the y and the seemingly simpler way of living are things songs and stories are made of.  And wouldn't it be great if that flag really did stand for Georgia peaches and Carolina winds and Mississippi muddy water, for dirt roads and pond fishin'?  I wish it did.  But it doesn't.

Friday, June 26, 2015

It's An ADHD Friday... Try To Keep Up!

Welcome to my Friday, ya shitstains, where the beer is cold, the music is country and the weather is Mexican!  Boy, I've got a flaming case of the ADHD today.  Feels like I am bouncing all over the place like a pair of boloney tits on a trampoline, so bear with me.  From dangerous hoodies to reasonable spanking to a transgender heckler to muy caliente meteorology, you're gonna need a nap after trying to follow along.

Forget terrorism and Japanese airbags!  The most clear and present danger facing our nation this morning is Lululemon!  That's right... the fukkin' clothing company made news a few years ago by developing yoga pants that, when stretched across a giant ass, became nearly see through.  Those pants were quickly recalled, saving countless men and women alike from lifelong suffering from STPD - See Thru Pants Disorder.

But Lululemon is back in the news today with a consumer safety recall that rises to a level of dangerousness that has not been seen since the 1972 Pinto gas tank.  300,000 Lululemon hooded sweatshirts, referred to in pop culture as "hoodies," have been recalled over reports that their elastic drawstring, when pulled too tight or snagged, are snapping back and whipping wearers in the face.  Seven people have been injured, however it is believed that hundreds, if not thousands, of others have also been injured but are too fukkin' embarrassed to tell someone that they are a fukkin' idiot!!

Oh hey... good news real parents!  The Massachusetts Supreme Judicial Court wrote a 25 page ruling yesterday offering legal guidelines on how to spank your little fukkin' brats.  They say it is completely legal to whack your Johnny or Jill as long as you use reasonable force and do not cause gross degradation or severe mental distress.  What is gross degradation?  Spanking a kid who has just shit his Underoos?  That's fukkin' gross!  It is not clear whether or not the court included a section in their ruling that says timeouts are for pussies and Democrats.  So go whack your Johnnys, fellas.

Imagine if you will a trans-gender (am I supposed to hyphenate that?  This is all so new) illegal immigrant woman at the White House.  That's right in Obie's wheelhouse, right?  I mean, she's (or he's - I don't know) got it all as far as the Democrats are concerned.  Except that she had the balls (heehee... probably DOES have the balls) to loudly challenge the Prez on protecting undocumented transgendered women in custody from abuse and harassment.  Obie's CLASSIC RESPONSE:  "Shame on you.  Listen, you're in my house.  It's not respectful."   HIS HOUSE???   Didn't realize douche nozzle bought the White House.  Didn't even know it was for sale.  When was the fukkin' closing?   Psst... Obie... That is NOT your house.  That is OUR house and we, unfortunately, have allowed you to live there for the past 6 years.

And lastly...  the weather is still Mexican.  Have you  met Yanet Garcia?  She says... aw, I have no idea what she says.  Not sure I care.

A Songwriter's Life

Thursday, June 25, 2015

Wait! What? That's Not How It Goes?

Whaddaya mean the Rocket Man was not burnin' down the streets of Babylon?  Jimi Hendrix did not want an excuse to kiss this guy and The Who was not kickin' their cat all over the place?  Next thing I know, you're gonna tell me Manfred Mann was not wrapped up like a douche!

The fuk you say!!!

Well, at least we all know the lyrics to Bennie & the Jets!

Wednesday, June 24, 2015

Humpin' The Sports Page: Sawx Still Suck

Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike....   put yer humpin' pants on man!  It's Wednesday!!  

Haven't checked in with the Boston sports teams in a while....  not since the Beez crapped in their breezers and missed the tourney.  

When we last visited the Nation over there at Fenway, the free fall was in full effect.  Don't go lettin' those 13 runs they scored on Father's Day in KC fool you.  The shitsapalooza is growing with every Tommy Layne appearance!  The pitchers give away leads like they are the United fukkin' Way!  Ya wanna know how you can tell if your team sucks?  When your All Star representative is a guy who has played seven fukkin' positions so far.  And when the biggest headline of the month is your third baseman liking an Instagram photo of huge bewbs while pinchin' a loaf during the fourth inning, you are in trouble.

Nothing going on with the Pats except the Tom Brady appeal.  Yawn.  Count the rings and move on.

The Beez and Seez are in the midst of golf season.  But Danny Ainge is yappin' about making trades before Thursday's draft so he can get some Kentucky guys.  Oh fahchrissake!  

That's all I got.  Need coffee.......

Thursday, June 18, 2015

My Political Beliefs Do Not Define My Person!!!

You've seen it.  You've taken part in it.  At some point over the past year or so, Thursdays became #tbt.  For those of us wikkidly uneducated in the ways of Instabook or FaceTwitter or whatever, that's a hash tag and it means "Throwback Thursday."  Whatever, fuckleberries.  I'm throwing it way the fuk back today.  Because this country needs a gawdam history lesson!!!!

When I'm not entertaining you with amazingly crafted satire marked by perfectly structured grammar and intricate usage of fuck bombs and political incorrectness, I work with adults and children with developmental disabilities.  I know... that doesn't seem to fit, does it?  Well, a third of my life over the last 26 years has been spent coming to learn about and respect the challenges and struggles that rise every day with the sun for someone with intellectual and physical differences.  And I have been able to see people gain independence and acceptance.  I have seen success and perseverance in the face of doubt and disbelief.  That man at McDonalds standing in line with a care worker because he needs help saying "large fries" - I have seen your stares and have read your mind.  No he DOES NOT have to stay in the group home where he will not bother you.

20 years ago, I spent every lunch hour for four weeks bottle feeding Baby Nicholas at the pediatric nursing home where I worked.  He was not supposed to live past a few weeks, but was four months old when I met him and had just developed the ability to suck from a bottle.  Baby Nick died a month later.  I have worked with people with severe self-injurious behavior coming out of institutions and watched them become "behavior free" living in houses in your neighborhoods.  I carried a donated refrigerator up three flights of stairs on a Saturday for a single mom with two autistic children who could not work and care for the needs of her children at the same.  I have brought people with whom I work to my house for holidays and to my friend's house to swim because their families walked away from them years ago.

And I'm a Republican.  GASP!

My office is chock full of Obama voters and Hillary lovers, many of whom I consider good friends.  So imagine my upset when I was told of a conversation between two people who have known me for years (a co-worker and a politician buddy of mine who were together at some political event outside of the office).  The crux of that conversation:  Politician asks co-worker, "How can Kenny (that's me) be who he is politically and still do his job with such passion?"  Ya know... because I am a Republican, so I must not care about people in need.

POST NOTE:  To be fair, this particular State Rep and I have known each other for years and he has ALWAYS advocated for people with disabilities and has become closely involved with a couple of people supported through my office.  I did not take his comment personally but rather as a compliment to the work I do - I am honored that he acknowledged the passion with which I do my job.  He is an outstanding Representative who connects with his constituents and truly represents them at the State House.  He and I have forever joked with each other about our differing political views and I did him a disservice by not letting him know ahead of time that I would use that story in such a public way. 

These two friends of mine shared, at least for a moment, a mutual bewilderment as to how someone who is politically conservative and against promoting government dependency can be passionate about helping people enrich their own lives.  Their conversation makes it abundantly clear that the prevailing thought out there among liberals is that Democrats help people and Republicans, well, not so much.

You see, being a conservative Republican working in human services in Massachusetts does not exactly line up with people's way of thinking.  It kinda flies in the face of their liberal thought process and bunches up their panties at the same time.  Because, if you were to listen to the mainstream media and the public eye Democrats, we Republicans are kitten kickin' evil-doers who only want to help the rich.  Maybe Republicans would be more likable if they were bribing foreign governments for charitable donations in exchange for State Department favors or getting their dick sucked in the White House while wifey-poo is out of town or hiding government emails on personal servers.

I do not identify with Donald Trump or Sarah Palin or the Tea Party.  I do not oppose gay marriage.  I am pro-choice.  I have devoted my career to helping people who cannot help themselves.  I am a Constitutionalist and believe this country grew to what it is through empowering its citizens to be self-reliant and take responsibility.  Oh yeah, and I'm Republican.

Wait a minute.  What about the history lesson I promised?  Here ya go.

The Democrats call themselves the party of tolerance.  They are the party of the lower class.  They are the party of women.  They are the party of minorities.  Right?  That's common sense, right?  Liz Warren and Barry O and CNN and MSNBC have told us so.  But while they are having you believe this, their political checklist gives off a completely different, much more odorous message.  They are not about empowerment.  Nope, their goal has been and continues today to make sure certain groups of voters remain reliant and needy on government.  You cannot do this on your own.  You need us to raise your kids.  You cannot get a job that pays $15 an hour, so you need us to do that for you.  You need us to choose your doctors and strap on your seatbelt.  You are hopeless.  And the people who have the balls to do things on their own, get ahead in life, well, they suck.  We will take their money and give it to you.  Because you cannot make it yourself.  Because you are idiots.

This picture has made its way around Facebook and proves the ignorance of today's Democrats, their allegiance to media perception and complete ineptitude with American history.

Forget that whoever created this meme has no interest in capitalizing proper nouns nor using end of sentence punctuation.  Let's just answer it, shall we?  I'll give you my FIVE favorites.  Google them if you do not know them.

Abraham Lincoln, Frederick Douglas, Ed Brooke, Jackie Robinson, William McCulloch

In the words of Will Hunting, "HOW DO LIKE THEM APPLES?"

~Did you know that the 13th Amendment, abolishing slavery, was supported by 100% of Republicans in Congress while 77% of Democrats were against the Amendment?

~Did you know that not a single Democrat in either House of Congress voted for the Civil Rights Act of 1868 (14th Amendment) giving civil rights to newly emancipated blacks?  But every single Republican voting was in favor.

~Did you know that the 15th Amendment giving blacks the right to vote was supported by and voted for by 100% of Republicans and 0% of Democrats?  Not a single Democrat in Congress wanted blacks to have the right to vote (they never DID want minorities to control their own lives).

~And did you know that the Civil Rights Act of 1964 was passed largely because of the work of a fiscal conservative from Ohio named William McCulloch, who also favored gun rights, school prayer and opposed foreign and federal education aid.  And that the Act's staunchest opponent was Virginia Democrat Howard Smith?   80% of Republicans voted in favor of the Act while only 61% of Democrats did.


Instead, read a history book.

Sunday, June 14, 2015

Happy Flag Day..

Every heart beats true
'neath the red, white and blue!!!

You bet your ass they do!

The Man in Black on the Red White and Blue