Wednesday, July 1, 2015

Sawx Win Streak At Three - But Farrell Is Gonna Put A Stop To That!


Oh sheeeeez!  The friggin' Sawx won again last night.  The bandwagon was hauled out of the dumper last night and was outside my bedroom window revvin' it's fukkin' engine!  That other noise you hear is the collective unzipping of the pants of sports radio callers who are going to spend today waxing their ERods over playoff hopes and World Series rotations.  Cuz that's how we fukkin' roll here in New England.

LEAVE ME ALONE!  DON'T ASK ME TO GET ON BOARD UNTIL YOU CAN SEE SECOND PLACE'S NIPPLES!

Hey dummies.... it's a three game winning streak!  Ya know what... when your longest winning streak is 3 and your longest losing streak is 7, ya gotta put it back in your pants and wait for the 7 game winning streak.  The UglyDuchholz and ERod are pitching great.  But Porcello toes the condom tonight and Miley are still around, so you can fuhgettabout that kind of winning streak!

But here's what I do know...  HanRam's new nickname is TitsOnABull.  Since he has been out with a hand injury, the Sox have been kinda hot.  Alejandro De Aza looks like Willie fukkin' Mays compared to TitsOnABull.  Sure, that's an overstatement.  But it sure is nice having a left fielder who can cover more than 5 square feet, runs to the ball and who beats feet on the basepaths like he enjoys the game.  The guy has a 6 game hitting streak, is batting .318 since coming over from Baltimore with 3 homers and 12 RBI.  AND he's catching fly balls.  BONUS.

But hold tight, Sawx fans... the worst manager to have ever won a World Series is about to fuck up your July.  John Farrell told reporters after last night's game that TitsOnABull will be back in the lineup tonight.... meaning every fly ball hit to left tonight will be a hit.  And when Shane Victorious returns from the DL on Friday (Yeah, I forgot he was on the team too), Farrell is planning to platoon De Aza with the Flyin' Hawaiian in right field.  Fukkin' Farrell!!!   I'm thinking Victorino has pictures of his manager doing the nekkid nasty with a luau pig.  Nothing else can explain Farrell's boner for the injury prone outfielder.

So yes... three games straight including two wins over the Blow Jays is nice.  But slow your roll and park that fukkin' bandwagon.  Johnny Farrell is gonna drop a steaming dump on your high hopes soon enough!

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