Friday, October 9, 2015

Anyone Know If Chandler Jones Can Skate??

Help Wanted:  Local professional hockey club seeking ANYONE WHO CAN PLAY FUKKIN' DEFENSE!  Qualified candidates should be able to skate backward without falling on their asses, shall possess the ability to keep the fukkin' puck on their fukkin' stick and be able to push around itty bitty kitty cats without shitting in their breezers.


If I were Tuukka, I would ask for a demotion until Donny Sweeney figures this fukkin' thing out.  Let him be the guy who holds the door while GooseTahhfsun gets peppered with pucks.  At this point, Torey Krug is our top blue liner.  At five foot nothing, this cute little fukker gets muscled out of the crease by a stiff breeze, fahchrissake!  Oh, it's a shit show at the Gahden right now.  And... les sacs de douche are coming to town on Saturday.  That oughta fahkin' sahk!!

That's all I got.  Happy Friday!


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