Monday, October 19, 2015

MMLS: Pats Winning Head Games Like A Boss

It wasn't the punch in the manjunk that I wanted.  But it was a win.  The city that REFUSES to let the air pressure story go away deserved a 60 spot on their "Fuck The Pats Party."  But since we only put up 34 points and won by a touchdown, I guess the next best thing would be to make complete fukkin' fools of themselves with some kind of Lonesome Polecat Head Up My Ass formation on 4th and 3.  That was a whole bowl of sweetness soaked in awesome sauce!  It out-classes the Butt Fumble in the world of stupid plays because this one was done ON PURPOSE!  It also proves that the Pats ARE IN THE HEADS OF EVERY TEAM THEY FACE!  Instead of just playing the football game, opposing coaches are trying to out-smaht the smahtest!  And it's becoming embarrassing.  Tomlin whined about headsets.  Ryan whined about them not running the football.  Harbaugh.. well, he just whines.

Look at that hot mess last night at the end of the third quarter and imagine yourself a gnat nesting in Pagano's head.  This is what you heard:
"I got an idea.  Let's not punt.  Instead, let's move everyone wide right except a wide receiver and a running back.  Let's even put the punter way back like he is in punt formation even though the ball is across the field.  And then let's have the wide receiver be the center and the running back be the quarterback.  Oh.....oh... and then, when the Pats move four guys over the ball, let's snap it anyway!  They'll never expect that.  And I will be CHAMPION OF THE WORLD!!!"   
Pagano!!!  Hard on!!  Here's another idea... try an onside kick in the first half.

As Pats fans, Hoodie gives us adjustments to 2-9 defenses, 4 tight end sets, eligible tackles and ineligible running backs and lots of wins.  Pagano gives Colts fans....the Swinging Fukkin' Gate, a play that doesn't even work in Pop Warner.  But hey, they were leading at halftime, so might as well raise another banner.  And let's extend a big fat Go Fuk Yourself to Ryan Grigson, the Indy media and those sorry fans who thought a deflated football cake was gonna get them the win.

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