Monday, November 9, 2015
Monday Morning Long Snappah: Pats Hitem Redskins
The Pale Faces may have said all the right things going into the game againstum Redskins. About how talented and dangerous the 'skins are and how they will bring the toughest challenge to date. But their real feelings could not be hidden when Hoodie rolled out the ol' First Quarter Onsides Kick Trick! Such surprisary in the first quarter is usually done for one of two reasons: desperation or complete dismissal of the opponent's ability to do anything about it. And since we are all pretty sure the Patsies are not anywhere near desperate, one can only look at that onside kick as a slap in the boy berries to Little Gruden and his Washington R-words.
When the Pats attempt to fix the coin toss failed and the Redskins deferred to the second half, that took away one of Hoodie's favorite weapons - the ol' double possession, make it take it the Pats have mastered when they win the toss and defer. It usually turns into two possessions in a row and they usually score to end the first half and start the second half. Well, when they couldn't do that yesterday, Belichick be like "Fuck it. We'll just onside kick and get our two successive possessions that way." And because nobody on Washington can catch the fukkin' ball, the trickery worked.
ESPN is reporting this morning that Roger Good'n'Douchey will launch an investigation into how the Patriots are able to keep Tom Brady upright as well as rush for 161 yards with an offensive line made up primarily of undrafted centers, fat tight ends and oompa loompas. There must be chicanery afoot. I mean, I think I saw Jonathan Kraft playing right tackle at one point yesterday. Surveillance video clearly shows both Bryan Stork AND Michael Williams playing tackle yesterday at different times. Inside sources say that prior to yesterday, neither of these two guys have EVER played tackle before. So that's deception. It's deceptive. HAH!!!
It won't be as easy next week with Jason Pierre Three Fingers coming at Brady next week. The Giants are much faster on the edge than the Redskins. So Hoodie had better hit the waiver wire this morning to see if there are any fat guys sittin' around with nothing to do next Sunday night. And Dion Lewis is likely done for the season. But somehow, I'm not worried.
But in the meantime.... 8-0 is 8-0. It's nothing. Except that it ain't 7-1, right Peyton??