There is no truth to the rumor that Roger Goodell has deployed Ted Wells to investigate the presence of cheating, nefarious shenanigans and altogether suspiciousness in the Patriots organization after a 3-0 start with puzzle pieces at quarterback. I mean... they're cheating, right?
Hell, Belichick was more giddy than a fat kid in a fudge factory last night. And why shouldn't he be? He is thumbing his nose and waving his old man balls at the world; and having a fukkin' party doing it. What? Go into a game with a wide receiver as the backup quarterback? Fuk yeah, I'm doing that. Huh? Run a tight end reverse? Fuk yeah, I'm doing that too. Install read option for the first time in my career? Aw what the hell! Let's do that too!!
Did you all see the stat they showed at halftime last night? When leading at halftime at Foxboro, during the Belichick/Brady era, the Patriots were 76-0!! FUKKIN SEVENTY SIX AND OH when leading at halftime. That's reegawdamdiculous!! Oh, they are now 77-0 after last night.
The Didyaknow Division has a question for all y'all: Did ya know that LeGarrette Blount has the second highest yards per carry in Patriots history (minimum 400 carries)? Yep... history! Better than Curtis Martin, Tony Collins, Corey Dillon and Sam Cunningham. Ya know who has the best yards/carry average in that category? STEVE FUKKIN GROGAN!!!
The theme of the Patriots season thus far has been "Fuk Trends! We're Doing It Our Way!" So, in honor of winning with a third string quarterback, we are scrapping the usual victory dance and going with our third string dancer! Hello Mr. Jefferson!!!