We should have seen the Clownist explosion coming. Costume stores started popping up like mosques all around the country in early September. You cannot go to a Papa Ginos or a SuperCuts without walking past a Clownist House of Worship these days.
It's time to start profiling clowns. I don't give a fuk if it's that lovable Ronald McDonald or Twisty the Clown from American Horror Story. We must treat all clowns as if they want to scare us. Bozo? Fuk that asshole! And Pennywise - that sunuvabitch took Georgie. I know he did.
How about this? How about all you scaredy-cats who pucker up in the poop hoop at the sight of a clown carrying balloons, get fukkin' tough! This crisis is your fault. It's a friggin' CLOWN fahchrissake!!!! It's not like he's a Democrat wearing a Hillary pin, which honestly makes me poop a little!!! See this guy above... he will likely be arrested for this. But what law has he broken? As far as I know, it's not illegal to make someone piss their pants and run away like a 1940s Frenchman. We all know that clowns are notorious for ignoring seat belt laws in little cars. But other than that... you got nothing. You guys are taking all of the fun out of this. Hell, the FBI might pay me a visit for posting a picture of Twisty.
Listen.... clowns are not scary. Instead, they are awesome! And I have proof!!!