Sunday, November 13, 2016

Cleveland Fans Unite Against World Series Outcome!

Taking the lead from tantrumers in Portland and Chicago, fans of the Cleveland Indians have taken to the streets this weekend to voice their discontent with the results of the World Series.  It is well documented that sports fans of Cleveland had been mired in the throes of suckitude until last spring when the Cavaliers topped the NBA world for the first sports championship in the Mistake by the Lake since LBJ was President.  That Cav championship has vaulted the 216 into a delusional stream of superiority to the likes of which we have not seen since Hillary's pre-election campaign.

Organized tantrums have sprouted up in front of the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame, in Public Square and along West 11th Street in the Tremont neighborhood where Ralphie Parker first fired his Red Rider BB gun.  Loudmouth crybabies could be heard chanting over the barks of the Bumpus' dogs, "NOT MY CHAMPIONS" and "HEY, HO, THE CHICAGO CUBS HAVE GOT TO GO!"

Regardless of knowing the rules of the Series prior to playing, Indians fans are not happy that their team lost and they are now demanding that Major League Baseball change the outcome.  Petitions are circulating social media calling for a change to the century old rule that the first team to win 4 games wins the Series.  They claim it is not fair because even though the Cubs won 4 games, both teams scored 27 total runs in the seven games.  Indian fan Monty Thomas was one of the loudest tantrumers last night in Public Square.  Dressed in full Native American head dress and war paint and standing in front of the Key Tower sucking his thumb, Thomas demanded that the Cubs vacate their World Series trophy, "The Cubs are bad for baseball!  They were supposed to lose because they always lose.  We were supposed to win.  We were up 3 games to 1 after four games.  That should matter!"  Thomas further promised, "This fight is just beginning!  We will be out here every night breaking windows and kicking kittens until we get our way!"

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