Sunday, November 13, 2016

Cleveland Fans Unite Against World Series Outcome!

Taking the lead from tantrumers in Portland and Chicago, fans of the Cleveland Indians have taken to the streets this weekend to voice their discontent with the results of the World Series.  It is well documented that sports fans of Cleveland had been mired in the throes of suckitude until last spring when the Cavaliers topped the NBA world for the first sports championship in the Mistake by the Lake since LBJ was President.  That Cav championship has vaulted the 216 into a delusional stream of superiority to the likes of which we have not seen since Hillary's pre-election campaign.


Organized tantrums have sprouted up in front of the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame, in Public Square and along West 11th Street in the Tremont neighborhood where Ralphie Parker first fired his Red Rider BB gun.  Loudmouth crybabies could be heard chanting over the barks of the Bumpus' dogs, "NOT MY CHAMPIONS" and "HEY, HO, THE CHICAGO CUBS HAVE GOT TO GO!"

Regardless of knowing the rules of the Series prior to playing, Indians fans are not happy that their team lost and they are now demanding that Major League Baseball change the outcome.  Petitions are circulating social media calling for a change to the century old rule that the first team to win 4 games wins the Series.  They claim it is not fair because even though the Cubs won 4 games, both teams scored 27 total runs in the seven games.  Indian fan Monty Thomas was one of the loudest tantrumers last night in Public Square.  Dressed in full Native American head dress and war paint and standing in front of the Key Tower sucking his thumb, Thomas demanded that the Cubs vacate their World Series trophy, "The Cubs are bad for baseball!  They were supposed to lose because they always lose.  We were supposed to win.  We were up 3 games to 1 after four games.  That should matter!"  Thomas further promised, "This fight is just beginning!  We will be out here every night breaking windows and kicking kittens until we get our way!"

Friday, November 11, 2016

Anti-Trump Tantrums, Popular Vote and Assorted Skullfukkery

It's been a few days now since the most divisive election in our nation's history, but there is still no sign of moving vans outside Whoopi's house.  Maybe she was just jackassing (i.e. lying).  Maybe when she said she would move to Canada, she did not mean "move move."

Anyhoo... the wake of Tuesday's historic upset has not yet settled and I have a big bag of leftovers that I gotta dump off my chest.  So buckle up, fuckleberries!

ahem..."PROTESTS"
The whiny little bitches who are unhappy with the election are organizing nightly tantrums in various cities around the country, Boston included.  As you know, their Democrat pubes are in a bunch because they believe one man with a fake tan and little hands is going to bring down centuries of rights and freedoms all by himself.  That he's going to open up concentration camps, close down abortion clinics and rekindle slavery.  They carry signs that say "Love Trumps Hate" and paint the target of their anger as a hate-filled human being.  And then they vandalize stores, throw rocks at police and cars driving by, block highways and set shit on fire because, in their words, "their vote was not respected."  I guess if we couldn't shatter the glass ceiling, we'll just shatter these windows.  Tell me again who is hate-filled.  BTW, not all Democrats are protesting.  The rest are snap-chatting crying videos, calling out sick or going to therapy.

Hate to tell you little brats that when you "protest" against things that do not go your way, you are not protesting.  You're throwing a tantrum.  You are that little snot-lipped brat in your fukkin' Power Ranger tshirt pounding on the floor in the checkout line because Mommy will not buy you a lollipop.  You are Veruca Salt who WANTS HER OOMPA LOOMPA NOW DADDY!!  You fukkin' idiots... you're vote was respected, there just wasn't enough of them (I'll get to the popular vote later, assholes).  Republicans were upset and angry four years ago.  But there were no violent protests.  There were no peaceful protests.  Ya know why?  Because defeat happens.


The behavior we have seen the last few nights is one major reason so many Americans voted for Trump....we are tired of this sense of entitlement that has taken this nation down to where it is today.  This idea that we deserve to get what we want, even if we do not work as hard as the other guy, is pathetic.  These protests are a direct result of society's mantra that everyone gets a trophy, that we are all winners.  When kids are protected from the pain of losing their whole lives, they act like this when they become adults.  They are incapable of understanding that others do not see things the same way as them.  And if someone does not agree with them, well then those people are obviously assholes deserving of disrespect.  Keep showing your colors, jackasses!  You keep making my point.

POPULAR VOTE
Squaw Running Mouth Warren has twice this week referred to Hillary winning the popular vote.  Groan.  Yes, Hillary had more total votes than The Donald.  More than 126 million votes were cast for President on Tuesday.  Clinton got 337,636 more total votes than Trump (a whopping difference of 0.2%).  So yes, she got more total votes.  But ya see, Lizzie, that's not how things work in America (being a native American, one would think you would know that).  Article II, Section 1 of the Constitution tells us that.  Of course, much like all the other jackasses, she does not care about the Constitution.

Ya see... the Founding Fathers knew then that if elected only by popular vote, the office of President would be controlled by small parts of the country with the most populous cities, ignoring the rest of the country.  And this is after all the UNITED States of America.  The Rust Belt has as much say in who becomes President as does New York City, Boston and Los Angeles.

On Thursday, Democrats around the country predictably started calling for the dismantlement of the Electoral College.  Ya know, cuz it didn't work in their favor and that's what they do on that side.. they stomp their feet and piss their pants.  They say that the total vote is what is important.  That's funny... this is the same collection of dimwits who use SUPERDELEGATES in their primaries.  I did not once hear Same Blazer Lizzie talk about popular vote while the Jackasses were pledging superdelegates to Shrillary despite the votes for Bernie.  Among several other states, Sanders won the popular vote in Michigan, Rhode Island, Wyoming, Indiana and Montana.  However, Hillary got more delegates than Sanders in all five of those states.  So tell me again Lizzie... how important is the popular vote?  It's okay... Thanksgiving is coming.  I will give you some maize and turkey if you promise to go away.

TRUMP VOTERS
Notice I did not title this "Trump Supporters"...  What is disturbing to me is that one of the points of contention over which  disgruntled Hillary voters are lamenting and expressing shock and dismay is that there are so many racists, sexists and homophobes in this country that voted for President.  Because in their narrow minded world, anyone who would vote for Trump must be just like him.  They must hate blacks, Mexicans, women, immigrants, disabled people and puppies, which in turn gives the tantrumers justifiable cause for hating all Trump voters and attacking them.  

I voted for Trump for two reasons... I voted for a change to the status quo and I voted against Hillary.  Obviously, half of this country despises Hillary as much or more than the other half despises Trump.  The difference, and the reason I believe he won, is that, while they were both horrendous candidates, at least Trump also represented change.  Hillary did not.  Along with being deplorable (oh yes I said that), she is also the same old same old machine that has been winning elections for decades.  And this country is tired of the same old same old.  

Wednesday, November 9, 2016

So... Remind Me Again... Who's Moving To Canada?

Last night was a LOUD STATEMENT that Americans are fed up and now completely DONE with career politicians who run party first, self second and country last.  4 and 8 years ago, Democrats reminded us that the "people have spoken" and that we have to "respect the office."  This morning, I remind them of the same sentiment.  Complain all you want.  Cry.  Protest.  Tip over cars and run over people.  Sink into depression.  Move to fukkin' Canada for all I care.  But every four years, one set of beliefs loses and the other set wins.  Contrary to what Bob Seger says, the losers are never beautiful (yes, I'm also talking about us Republicans and our vitriol over Obie's wins) and the winners suddenly believe in the "people have spoken" mantra (for four years anyway).

The DNC knew who would be their best candidate.  But then again, they knew Obamacare would save us money.  Their superdelegates fukked Bernie Sanders out of a nomination and ultimately fukked their party out of the Presidency.  


The message is very clear today.  For this country to select a seemingly divisive, harsh and petulant man with no political experience and a well reported history of obnoxious and crude behavior over a career politician, former Senator, former Secretary of State with a well documented history of corruption, backdoor deals and missteps in leadership tells ME that the vote was not necessarily for Trump, BUT FOR A CHANGE TO THE STATUS QUO - the status quo that rewards political machines with powerful positions.  I mean... what does it tell you about Hillary that Donald Trump is more likable than her? 

I am nervous about a Trump presidency.  But I am glad that this country finally told the powers that were that we are tired of our leaders choosing party over country.  If only I could have been a fly on the wall of Hillary's room to see that look of disbelief, shock and sadness overcome her fukkin' cockiness.  North Carolina?  Trump!  Florida?  Trump!  Wisconsin?  Trump too!  Ohio??  No, not Trump??  PENNSYLFUKKINVANIA???  Oh, it must have been glorious!   The FBI might have let you off the hook, but Americans did not.  Buh bye Hillary.   Buh bye Bill.  Get the hell out of my sight now, thank you very much.