Sunday, January 1, 2017

Keep Your Hands Off My Seed!!

Tough touchdown!  Devastating block!  I wanna take Michael Floyd out drinking when he gets back to town tonight.  I'll drive!

There would be no fukkin' around today in South Beach like they did last season when they decided to practice their running game for the first quarter.  This time, the Pats kept their seed hand strong and guarandamnteed that for as long as they remain alive, the playoffs will come through the Razor.  They did it by looking at the Dolphins 9-1 record in the past ten games for what it was... toilet paper.  Oh sure... the 'phins put together two consecutive no-huddle drives in the middle of the game, but all that really did was give a semblance of balance to the stat sheet.   They won by 21, but the game was not that close.

Miami is still Miami.  Donkey Kong Suh is still a dirty prick.  Bobby McCain has some kinda Napoleon Complex (except I bet Napoleon could at least cover the slant route).  Jarvis Landry celebrates like he thinks all of his touchdowns are game winners.  And they still wear aqua marine and orange!!  Nuff Sed!  Have fun in the 'burgh next week, assholes!  I'll be rooting for ya.  Mostly because the Stillers scare me and I don't wanna have to play them.

It's time for the MVP voters to make their selections.  No idea if Mr. Bundchen is gonna get it or should get it.  Mostly because it doesn't matter to me.  Listen Brady fans... we have spent the last two years telling everyone that we do not care what the rest of the country thinks of the GOAT.  So why do you care if he gets the MVP?  Is that what you need to validate your argument about him being the best?  Or can't you just be happy with the validation you find in his numbers?  28 touchdowns.  Only 2 picks.   He has thrown for just under 3600 yards while missing four games.  That is a mere hundred yards less than Dak Prescott who has played the whole season.  He has more touchdowns and less interceptions than Prescott.  Matt Ryan will probably get the MVP because his numbers per game are even a little bit better than Brady's and because he played 16 games and because he is not Tom Brady.  But whatever!  It's time to dance, ya pricks!

But first... a look at Floyd's howdoyado block of Tony Lippett.



Okay, Sir Shitsalot,....  cue up the Top Seed Week Off Stay Home Victory Dance!

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