Thursday, March 30, 2017

In Italy, They're Calling In a Cramp Day

If you listen to The Hillman Morning Show on WAAF, then you've heard this story.  If not, let me edumahcate you, because, as usual, I am in the gawdam know!!!  In Italy, the lower house of Parliament is considering a draft law that will mandate employers to give women three paid days off per month when their heavy Aunt Flo comes to visit.  (Shitting you not... read here)

I'm callin' bullshit.  Or as they say over there, CAZZATE!!  I am not sure what kind of periods they have in the Boot Country, but paralyzing menstrual cramps??  If I have to go to work battling the fukkin' Pabst Brown River after a night of hot wings and draft beers, then these bella donnes need to buck up and get their belly aches to work.  Don't tell me I'm a dude and therefore have no idea how painful a period can be.  I get it... it feels like you're giving birth to a herd of angry unicorns.  While I do not know how bad the pain of a period is, what I also know is that American women are making it to work every gawdam day, even if they have to double pad it and pop Midols like Skittles.  They go to work.  Italian women are looking for 7 weeks of paid vacation to hug a hot water bottle.

But imagine the uproar if this became a thing in the US.  First, we'd have to reconcile the paradox of women fighting for equality with women wanting to be treated differently because they are women.  At first blush, you might say this would be a step in the right direction for women's rights.  But is it really?  Would this not hurt a woman's employment opportunities?  Imagine ACME Incorporated for a minute, whose employees get 4 weeks paid vacation, 10 sick days and 5 personal days (7 weeks paid time off).  They are choosing between two EQUALLY qualified candidates... a 30 year old man and a 30 year old woman with identical experience and education.  Except one candidate would get 14 weeks paid time off while the other would get 7 weeks.  Who should they hire?  Discrimination?  Yep.  Defensible?  Honestly, kinda!  It's a business first.  And if you owned a company dependent upon your employees' production, wouldn't you want someone who would work 45 weeks a year instead of 38 weeks a year?

But a more interesting/entertaining argument would come from the liberal left...  because, as you know, such a law would certainly discriminate against those who identify as women but swing a schwanz under their skirts.  Would they get the benefit of the law?  Or no?  If not, why not?

But hey... at least LeBron and Sidney Crosby will be able to stay home when they are on their period!


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