Tuesday, June 27, 2017

Twofer Twosday: American Pickers' Danielle Colby Cushman

So's I'm sittin' on the sofa, scannin' channels like a fukkin' fidget spinnah, when I stopped at American Pickers.  Had never seen the show before.  Mostly because I hate yard sales, so why would I watch it on television.  But I stopped because they were looking at an old Harley gas tank.  Within seconds of my stopping, the two trash pickers in the old garage were on the phone, talking to some smokin' hot, inked up, yooge breasted brunette about the value of this tank.  Hello Twosday.

Now, as you may know, while I hate yard sales, I love me some tattooed ladies.  Apparently, this goddess back at the office is Danielle Colby Cushman.  A quick look-see at her Wiki page, Danielle owned a roller derby team in Chicago called the Big Mouth Mickies and she was a burlesque dancer with the stage name Dannie Diesel.

Sunday, June 18, 2017

Father's Day: I Come From A Long, Squiggly, Awesome Line of Love

I've been a son for 50 something years, a stepson for 36 and a father for 24.  So I consider myself a virtual virtuoso in fatherology, wikkid experienced in the ways of got yer nose, pull my finger and hold my beer.

Yes, Father's Day is a Hallmark Holiday and we do not need some artificial date to appreciate our Dads.  But you have to admit, it helps. 

For whatever reason whatever your higher being has, I have been flooded with lessons and reminders of what it means to be a FATHER this week.  From Jimmy's birthday beer with Grampy to sharing stories about my stepdad Peder with my stepcousin Bigfoot at Laconia to looking at pictures of Kim's dad Butch on our wedding day to crying tears of joy with Kim after getting great news from Chris, this has been a father kind of week!!

But best of all, on Wednesday, I am flying down to Pittsburgh to visit with my Dad and then drive him and Laurette back to New England for Katie's wedding.  I am so looking forward to spending 4 straight days with the man who has handed down to me a long line of love that has defined me and that continues to define my two kids.  Oh sure, our line of love is not very straight... it has a few bends and branches, a break here and there... but it is long!!  Yes, dads teach us how to make armpit farts, how to make ketchup smiley faces on boloney and how to drive a stick.  But my Dad also taught me the importance of family and what it means to love those people closest to me.  And from that, I truly believe all good things come.  

Today, Jessica, my "baby" girl, turns 23.  Chris will be 25 in December.  They say that watching your children succeed in life does a parent proud.  That my friends is an understatement.  In August of 2012, both Chris and Jess moved away to school.  Just like that, our house was big and empty.  We were not sure how they would adjust, if they would adjust or what the future would hold.  Let's just say, they adjusted perfectly well.... so well that they did not really come home at all those first few months.  In a way, it was heartbreaking!  Don't they miss us?  Do they hate it at home?  Why do they like being at school better than being at home.  Did we do something wrong?  Were we bad parents? But the reality was this:  We were doing it right!  As a parent, from the moment your children are born, your job is to prepare them to NOT NEED YOU.  I don't mean that in an emotional sense... we ALWAYS need our parents.  But we were readying them for life on their own.  And it was working. 

There really are no words that can describe that feeling you get when you see your children grab hold of their own paths in life and just run with it!  In the past two weeks alone, both of my kids have taken HUGE steps toward their career and life goals.  Jess was promoted to being a lead therapist and accepted into grad school.  Chris just keeps inching toward becoming a police officer.  And it just moves me to tears when, through their own hard work and determination, they actually grab the stars for which they are reaching!!

This is what being a Dad is all about... And I'll see you Wednesday Dad!!

Always look back to see from where you've come!

Also, a very Happy Father's Day in heaven to these two men!!

Peder... thank you for everything you did for all of us. 
BTW, I still cannot teach Chris how to tie a friggin' tie.  Don't know how you did it.

Butch... Thank you for giving me her hand 25 years ago!

I cannot listen to this song without choking up... despite our scattered family tree, the sentiment describes EXACTLY how I was raised, from my grandparents on down!!

Sunday, June 4, 2017

It's Not About Winning The Game, It Never Is

Celena Massey celebrates the game she loves
Two out in the seventh, down 8-1, this meaningless home run had more meaning than anything else you will see in the College Softball World Series.  This one home run from a senior, her reaction and the reaction of her teammates and coaches and the tears of pride from her parents remind us that it really is not about winning the game.  It never is.
Before yesterday, Celena Massey had just 4 at-bats her senior season (13 ABs the past two seasons combined) with the Aggies, but she kept coming to the games.  A senior catcher, she has been the backup for her whole career, but she kept going to practice.   She had not hit a home run since her sophomore year.  Yesterday in Oklahoma City, her coach, Jo Evans, realized that with one out in the bottom of the seventh and down seven runs, the Aggies season was going to end with the next out.  The careers of her two barely used seniors would also end.  So she sent senior Reagan Boenker (13 at-bats this season) up to pinch hit for the final at-bat of her career.  She grounded out to the shortstop.  And just like that, Reagan's career was over.  Down to her final out, Coach Evans sent Celena to bat and, in an 8-2 loss, Massey gave us the best moment of the entire CSWS.

You see, they play the games to win.  But they play the sport because they love it.  And when everyone in that park celebrated Massey's home run like it had just won the game, they were really celebrating what it means to play a game you love, and to play it until you cannot play it anymore.  Thank you Celena Massey for reminding me what is important in sports.  And congratulations!!!

Celena autographs the home run ball for her biggest fan, her dad, Buck Massey.
They don't look like a team that lost by 6.

Sunday, May 28, 2017

For 14 Teams, the NBA Playoffs Are Like Going to a Strip Club

The Stanley Cup Diving Nationals get underway tomorrow night, and I, for one, will be watching with eyes wide open, rootin' wikkid hahd for the Predahdahs.  While card carrying members of the Thornton Melon Hall of Fame Sindy Crosby and PussKunt Subban go vagina to vagina for the top prize in the NHL, know this much:  the Stanley Cup final is going to be must see television, and much more exciting than watching Steph Curry, Kevin Durant and LeBitchBitch play angry face.

You can play along,
but you ain't winning.
My problem with the NBA is this:  The 82 game season and the 3 rounds of blowout hoops was a complete waste of fukkin' time.  Oh, it gave the ridiculously optimistic Celtics nation a little strip club boner for a few weeks.  You know what I'm talking about - when you get up close and personal with a glittered nekkid chick and she smiles at you like you have a chance.  And shit, she might even give you a Game 3 lap dance that gives you even more hope.   But reality is that from the time you walked into the place, you were NEVER taking her home.  But thanks for your money and congratulations on that first round pick.  You still lost.

28 NBA teams opened their season like they were walking into a strip club.  They were gonna have their moments, but they knew they weren't going home with the girl.  We all knew since the end of last season (and since the end of the season before that and the season before that) which two teams would be in the finals.  The NBA regular season is a gawdam joke.  It has become a money grab for owners and a nuisance for the super stars.  Ain't nobody got time for that.  Hell, BronBron said as much when he told everyone he could care less about regular season games.  Can you ever imagine Michael, Magic or Larry sitting out a few games a year to be rested for the playoffs?  No... because back then, they at least believed that you play EVERY game to win EVERY game.

For more evidence that the NBA is star driven, take a look at the Warriors.  Head coach Steve Kerr has not even been on the bench since April because of a back injury.  It is unlikely he will even coach in the finals.  But this is the NBA.  Who needs coaches when the superstars run the teams?  Do you know the name of the Cavaliers coach?  Betcha don't.  Cuz it does not matter.  Bron is in charge.

Look for a minute at the contrast between the NHL and the NBA (and I'm not talking about the color balance either).  The NBA Western Conference finals was a four game sweep by the Warriors over the supposed second best team in the conference, with an average margin of victory of 16 points.  YAWN.  The NBA Eastern Conference finals went only 5 games with an average margin of victory of 20 points.   SNORE.   In the game 5 clincher, the Cavs led by as many as 39 in the fourth quarter.  Meanwhile, on the same night, in the NHL Eastern Conference finals, the Pens and Sens were in a game 7 and needed double overtime to determine who would advance.

So, if you like your sports to have a predetermined champion, then go right ahead and rub one out watching the NBA and listening to Curry and James post game pressers about themselves.  Me.. I'll be watching a real sport that keeps me on the edge of my seat from opening night of the season THROUGH the entire playoffs.  And I'll be complaining about that little puss Crosby ad nauseum.  So Pens fans might wanna block me.

Tuesday, May 23, 2017

Harvard Blacks Had Their Own Commencement - Because Personal Responsibility Is Not The Road To Success??

In case you missed it yesterday, Harvard University celebrated a first; odd for the oldest university in the country to have any more firsts left.  It's actually difficult to believe this bastion of uppity liberal holier than thou muthafukkas that has been around for 381 years wasn't all done having "firsts."  The school that was established just 16 years after the Pilgrims tied their rickety old sailboat to a rock in Plimoth, Massachusetts had their very first Black Commencement yesterday.  Yep, you heard it right.  A separatist movement is afoot.

The easy play here would be to point out that had Harvard allowed their white students to have a White Commencement, Al Sharpton and Barry O'Bama would be rattling cages and Rachel Madow would be having a fukkin' conniption the likes of which we haven't seen since November 8th.  But playing that card that does not take much critical thought.  So fuk that.

Nope, I'd rather call out the little separatists who spewed horseshit during the ceremony.  The battle cry of yesterday's blacks only commencement in Hahvahd Yahd was all about black lives matter and the reckless taking of young black lives by big mean police officers.  Duwain Pinder, who is obviously wikkid smaht because he got into Harvard, spoke to the graduates... "despite continued police killings of black men, we have survived.  Just look at us."  SURVIVED??  Are you shitting me Duwain??   Must have been tough to survive a four year scholarship to the most prestigious university in the country.  I cannot believe you made it out of Harvard Square alive!!  Pinder has no gawdam idea what survival is about.  He got into Harvard.  He will have a successful career because he worked for it, and he deserves it.  But this smart prick has no more idea about survival than his douchebag white classmates.  This is why he failed to mention the reckless taking of young black lives by other young black men.  While Pinder goes on to earn a six figure salary, countless black men will not survive.  They will be cut down in their prime, mostly by other black men.   But hey Duwain... YOU survived.

But Pinder also wanted his classmates to be careful not to believe the myth that their success was due to their hard work.  He warned that black Harvard graduates can be wielded as political symbols by those who would argue that their success shows racism doesn’t exist. “They will try to craft our stories as examples of the benefits of personal responsibility, as proof that the American dream exists for all, instead of just a select few,” he said. “But we know better.” (1)

They know better?  What do they know better?  Are they saying that they are getting their Harvard degree because of something OTHER than taking the reins of their lives and working for what they want?  Hate to tell ya, fuckface... but your stories ARE examples of taking personal responsibility, busting your ass and reaching the American dream.  You apparently do NOT know better.  How the hell did you get accepted into Harvard in the first place?

(1) https://www.bostonglobe.com/metro/2017/05/23/black-students-gather-celebrate-their-harvard-graduation/x7hNzfxRtxCtgvl4IAhYzH/story.html