When They Turn 21.... What Do You Do?

We were just finishing up Christmas dinner at my Dad's house on South Loring Street.  It was oh, about 3 bells or so and Laurette's raisin sauce had not yet kicked in.  The first of a fahkin' billion contractions kicked Kim in the belly and it was off to the hospital... But it was not until the wee hours of the 27th when the boy joined the party.  32 hours of labor pains, a boat load of happy drugs and one "Get some gum, your breath stinks" later, our first born stepped out of the darkness and said "Hey Mom.  Hey Dad.  Thanks for having me.  And welcome to the first day of my awesomeness."

Today, that fukker is 21 and ready to belly up with his brand new ID and order himself a beer like he's some kind of big shot.  Yep, the mensch who once aspired to be average (no sense in setting goals too high, right Bub?) is an adult.  Not an 18 year old adult who can vote and fight for his country, but a 21 year old adult who can buy his daddy a cold one!!!!

Your kids are your kids... how you spend time with them is a floating scale that offers no set rules.  So ya gotta fahkin' wing it!  It's pretty easy when they are young.  You learn quickly that pureed carrots taste better as a choo choo train.  You play lots of games and you lose every one of them on purpose.  Lie to them about Santa and giant rabbits and tooth fairies (and the Browns if you're in Cleveland).  "Making a stinky" is perfectly fine.  "Pinching off a shit" you just cannot say.  Over time, tho, it gets a little more fuzzy.  At some point, it is important to start winning some of those games.  Losing builds character.  You don't get a friggin' trophy just for playing.  Losing makes you appreciate hard work and dedication.  Being gifted wins your whole life makes you a Democrat.  Not to mention, later on, that little fukker who could not bounce a basketball without it hitting his foot will bury your ass in one on one.  We also have to figure out when the right time is to start introducing swear words into the household.  Some parents still refuse to swear around their children.  Those parents are fukkin' pussies.  It's like one day, you are watching a purple dinosaur get creepy with little ones and the next day you are couching it, watching Clay Morrow sing the praises of sweet sweet pussy during a prison bible study.  It's like that line you said you would never cross was never even there.  But it is kinda cool that my boy and I share many of the same interests... Michigan football, Monty Python movies and especially those two interests that belong to Kate Upton.  (insert gratuitous Kate Upton photo here)

So, my son, as you continue on your journey through life, today is a milestone.  You are 21.  You will be forging your own path and defining your own success.  Dr. Seuss talked about the Places You'll Go.. but Dr. Seuss was twisted left on opiates and also wrote about a giant Elephant named Horton and a couple of Things named 1 and 2.  So don't listen to him.  Listen to me... your wise old Dad....

When I reach the days of diapers and dentures and donkey balls, do not put me in a nursing home. Remember that you owe me.  And remember....  always wipe front to back.  Don't want no dingleberries on my donkey balls.   Love you dude!!!   See you tonight!  I'll have a Bud bottle.

8 months... on vacation with the Bretons

No sense in waiting... Hooters is ALWAYS a good idea.

Sophomore at Alvirne

Junior at Westfield State University

Veterans Day: Lest We Forget - Yet So Many Do

In the 11th hour on the 11th day of the 11th month in 1918, in a railroad car in northern France, an armistice was signed between the Allies and Germany ending all major hostilities of World War I.  A year later, Woodrow Wilson proclaimed November 11th Armistice Day in the United States.  "To us in America, the reflections of Armistice Day will be filled with solemn pride in the heroism of those who died in the country's service..."

In 1945, Ray Weeks, a WWII veteran from Alabama, suggested Armistice Day be a day to celebrate all veterans, not just those who died in WWI.  He petitioned then General Eisenhower, who supported the notion.  Nine years later, in June 1954, now President Eisenhower signed into law Veterans Day, a day to celebrate and recognize all those past and present, who have served or are serving our nation.

Veterans Day allows us the platform and the opportunity to thank our service men and women for their sacrifice in keeping out country free.  While this debt of gratitude should not be reserved for just one day a year, the 11th of November does remind us all, amid the hurried world that is our country, to take a moment to thank a Veteran.

So today, while mayors, governors and our President lay wreaths and give speeches to honor our veterans, I think it's also important to raise the flag of hypocrisy in the words they speak.  Don't give me fukkin' bullshit words!!  Give me action!!  If they want to honor our veterans, I know EXACTLY where they can start.

James Blakely in his rent-free apartment in Brooklyn,
courtesy of the Black Veterans for Justice

Two years ago, 91 year old James Blakely, a WWII Navy vet who survived the bombings at Pearl Harbor aboard the USS St. Louis and went on to serve in Iwo Jima and Guadalcanal was living in a rusted out trailer in a scrap yard in Brooklyn.  After losing his home in 2006 when his wife died, he lived in his car for the better part of 5 years, until he was brutally mugged in 2011 and a kind soul allowed him to start sleeping in the junkyard trailer.  Is it not a travesty that while Mr. Blakely was struggling to get by, living on the streets with little to no assistance from his government, illegal immigrants, including President Obama's relatives, were getting subsidized housing and cheap education?  Kinda makes me sick.

Recent numbers from the National Coalition of Homeless Veterans estimate that over 62,000 veterans are homeless on any given night in the United States.  Approximately 12,000 veterans of Operation Enduring Freedom and Operation Iraqi Freedom were homeless in 2010.  That same year, our government gave out over $15 BILLION DOLLARS in economic and military aid to Afghanistan and Iraq.  So while 12,000 American heroes who paid the price with their service to this country in the heat and sands of Afghanistan and Iraq are struggling to find a loaf of bread or a cardboard roof, our government is rebuilding two countries that could give a shit less if the United States disappeared from the globe.  Overall, in FY2010, the United States has doled out over $51 billion dollars in foreign aid around the globe while our veterans have been ignored.  Sure, there are several VA homelessness programs that have been successful in finding housing for thousands of veterans.  But until EVERY vet is given an apartment and a pension,  proper mental health care and appropriate healthcare, not another fukkin' dime should make its way overseas!!

The good news for Mr. Blakely is that his story became public in 2012 in a piece in the New York Daily News.  When the Black Veterans for Justice saw the story, they jumped into action and found this hero a rent-free apartment with daily meals delivered.  To his credit and true to the spirit of the American soldier, James Blakely holds no grudges and carries no bitterness toward the government that has done him no favors.  He was simply doing his job and expects nothing in return.  This is his country and he is grateful to have had the opportunity to serve.  Thank you

Jane Richard Returned Home - And Rolling Stone Has No Idea

"The pain is constant, and even the sweetest moments can become heartbreaking when we are struck by the realization that 'Martin would have loved this.'" ~ Bill Richard

The Richard family released this photo of Jane leaving the hospital.

"Jane continues to be an incredible source of inspiration - and exhaustion.  The loss of her leg has not slowed her one bit, or deterred her in any way.  As we knew she would, when we finally returned home, Jane walked into the house with the aid of her crutches, but under her own power."  ~ Bill Richard

Here's what I learned this week:  I learned that the Richard family had not returned home since April 15th.  They were determined that none of them would sleep at home until all of them could do so.  Denise Richard, struck in the eye by a ball bearing from the pressure cooker bomb and blinded in that eye, slept by Jane's side at Spaulding Rehab.  Bill, suffering with a constant ringing in his ear from a ruptured ear drum, slept at a hotel nearby with his oldest son Henry, 11.  Jane was recently discharged from the hospital and, as a family, the Richards returned home - less one beautiful little boy with sparkling eyes and a winning smile.

I learned, once again, that while Rolling Stone glorified a murderer, they have ignored the Richard family and every other victim of the Marathon bombings.  And you know what... that is FINE BY ME.  Let Rolling Stone keep the honor of being the official, ahem, news magazine of terrorists and over indulgent rock stars.  Leave the real heroes alone.  Jane Richard has had 12 surgeries since April 15th.  She is seven years old.  Jane Richard has shown more courage and spirit over the past 4 months than the Rolling Stone editors could ever begin to amass.  Jane Richard has her brother's smile.  She will dance again.  And she will be stronger, boosted by the spirit of Martin.  Jane Richard will soar!!

Welcome home, Richard family.  Martin would be loving this.